Raphael's Insanity
by supermariolover56
Summary: Something is happening in Raphael's head and taking away his sanity. will his brothers be able to save him before his mind is completely gone?
1. A horror hallucination

Raphael's Insanity

Chapter 1: A Horror Hallucination

_The terrifying darkness was all around me. Nothing in front of me could be seen, not even my own hand centimeters in front of my face. The darkness was closing in on me, consuming me causing me to get more and more terrified every step I took. A horrible bone chattering laugh was very close behind me and it sent a painful chill up my spine. But that didn't keep me from running. My heart was racing at rapid going pace and it almost made me collapse. Sweat was rolling down my face and tears were beginning to roll down my eyes like a waterfall. Time slowly went by until whatever was chasing me grabbed my pale-green arm. "No! Let go of me!" _I scream as I struggle to get my arm free._ The grip on my wrist just kept getting tighter and it started cutting of my circulation in my wrist. Another dreadful laugh escapes the monster holding onto my wrist and more tears begin to fall down my eyes. "_I've got control over you now, Raphael!" It says as it begins to come closer to me._ I wail and scream at the monster again, demanding it to let go. _"Let me go!" "Let go!" _ I continue to scream and struggle against the monster, but every time I did, it would just laugh and mock me. My anger was beginning to build up and all my fright and pain was being pushed back. "_I'm going to kill you Raphael." "All of your sanity is being taken away by me!" It threatens. _Then suddenly the fright and pain instantly comes back and begins to come out in cries for help_. "Stop! "Leave me alone!" "Help!" _I had finally lost it._

RAPH!...RAPH WAKE UP LITTLE BROTHER! PLEASE! Leo yells as he shakes my shoulders. I bolted up in my bed. My forehead and body was drenched with sweat and the sharp pants escaping me were beginning to make me dizzy. I was tightly grasping my messed up covers trying to get control of my breathing "Raph, are you ok?" Leo asked with a severely concerned look on his face. "I…I don't know." I was still in shock from what I have just seen in my sleep. "Raph, you have been having these nightmares for a long time now and it's really been worrying us." Leo explains as he put a gentle hand on Raphael's shoulder. "I'm fine fearless. Quit tryin' to baby me." Raph angrily grumbles as he shrugs Leo's hand of him. "Raph, I'm desperate to help you." "You have been like this for week's now-"Leo was shortly cut off as a shouted at him out of a strange anger. "Leo leave me the freak alone!" "Yer also tryin' to get on me, but I don't need yer-"I then halted from finishing what I was going to say. I looked into Leo's eyes and noticed the worry and sadness he was unshamfully showing. "Leo…I…I'm sorry...I" Leo put his hand up to silence me. He then walked over and wrapped his strong arms around my shell. "Shhhhh….calm down little brother." He soothes as he rubs my shell. My sharp and painful panting begins to tone down as Leo continues to soothe and calm me down. I bury my head into his shoulder as I have my eyes wide open trying to calm myself down. "It's ok Raph. I'm here. You're safe now." Leo continues to whisper soothing things into my ear. His grip gets tighter around me as he notices I begin to relax a little. A time that felt like 3 years, Leo finally tucks me back under my covers when he see's that I have drifted off into a deep slumber. Another terrifying nightmare doesn't plague my mind after that time, but my horrible visions are far from over.


	2. So it begins

Chapter 2: So It Begins

**So sorry for the freakin slow update people. But it's the second chapter is done now XD XD thanx for your patience and reviews**

It was pretty early in the morning. But my worry and concern for Raphael was keeping me awake. Raph has been having nightmares and strange visions for weeks now and I've been starting to wonder if it's changing who he really is. Raph has always been the kind to have a hot-headed and burning personality, but he would never lash out at anyone in such a strange manner. I am suddenly snapped out of my troubled thoughts when I hear a soft knock on my door. "It's open." I say as I turn my gaze back towards the wall as the door cracks open. "Hey Leo?" Mikey says as he slowly opens my door. The stressed and sad-toned voice that called my name makes me immediately jerk my head towards my door where I find my baby brother standing against the door frame."What's wrong Mikey, Did you have a nightmare?" I ask him as get up and approach him and put my large hands on his shaking shoulders. "No, I didn't have a nightmare; I'm just... really worried about Raphie." I look directly in Mikey's beautiful baby-blue eyes, and give him a mournful smile. "I understand Mikey; I'm really worried about him as well." I tell as I rest my head on his shoulder. "I think something is REALLY wrong with Raph, Leo. I'm really s-scared." Mikey explains as he looks down to the floor and starts to sob. I pull Mikey into a close embrace which causes him to wrap his olive green arms around my waist. "Its ok baby brother. I'm really worried for Raph too, and I know we will find a way to help him." I start to nuzzle his cheek and rub the back of his neck. The sobs and cries Mikey was releasing began to tone down as do his firm shaking. The warm embrace I blessed upon my younger brother was broken as I lift his chin so I could meet his soft gaze. I give him a soothing smile, hoping to look more confident than I felt. Mikey shares the same smile as I rub my hand across his soft cheek. "Leo?" Mikey groans as he clenches his hand across his stomach. "What's wrong Mikey?" I question I take my hand off his cheek and stare at his ill like position with a worried tone. "My stomach is cussing at me." Mikey complains as he raises his head to stare into my chocolate brown eyes. A smile spreads across my face and causes me to chuckle at his random statement. "Well ok then, lord-of-the-random, lets go fix some breakfast before everyone wakes up." I laugh as I rub the top of his head before I pass him to leave the room. Mikey smiled from ear to ear as he followed me out of the room.  
The silence in the lair was pounding forcefully against my eardrums. The only sounds that could be heard were the small pattering of rodent's feet which was pretty annoying if a person hears it for too long. The walk to the kitchen was filled with awkward silence since it was obvious to see that Mikey and I both couldn't stop thinking about Raph's situation. Once we entered the kitchen, the sight that plagued my eyes makes my heart skip a beat. Raph was seated at the kitchen table with his sweaty head clutched very firmly in his perspired filled hands. Mikey and I stand in absolute shock as we couldn't do more but stand in place. After what seemed to be forever, I finally bring up the courage to move closer to my litte brother. When I get to a close enough range to him, I could perceive every detail on his terrified looking face, as well as unfortunately hearing the horrifying things he was saying to himself. My heart nearly stopped when I heard the first four words struggle to escape from his mouth. "Get...outta...my...head. Help...M...m-" At that point, I couldn't bare to see my little brother in his condition any longer. I lunged out at him and firmly wrap my arms around him. His sharp panting was inconceivable uneven, his eyes were tightly shut, and after a short amount of a time, my shoulder was beginning to get soaked with how much sweat that he was letting off. Raph suddenly throws his head in the air while still tightly clutching the sides of his head and starts to scream bloody murder. "LEAVE ME ALONE! GET OUTTA MY HEAD!" he yanks himself out of my grip and falls to the floor. The grasp on his head get tighter and more firm. Every bit of his face was dripping with perspiration. Donnie and Master Splinter come coursing into the kitchen shortly after they heard Raph screaming. Master Splinter knelt down next to Raph and gently placed a paw on Raph's shoulder. "My son, what is the matter?" Everyone in the room shared the same expression of extensive eyes that showed complete and utter panic and worry. Raph was dangling his head over his knees as he struggled to fight for breath. No words were able to be spoken. Raph kept opening and closing his mouth but no words escaped. He screamed one last time until the room was suddenly filled with painful silence. Raph's mouth was still open, except no other sound escaped his throat. His eyes rolled back in his head and his body went completely limp.

**Sorry it's a little bit on the short side, but I will make it up to you guys! :D**


	3. The Voice

**Thanks so much for the awesome support guys! XD, XD, XD! I LOVE YOU ALL XOXOXOX**

Chapter 3: The Voice

My eyes explode open as I shoot up in bed. My panting was sharp and hard to control. I didn't give myself enough time to process what was happening. I flew out of my bed and coursed ahead for Raphael's room. I made sure to stay as silent as I could so an alarm wouldn't be sent out to the other sleepers in the lair. Once I reached Raphael's room, I took a chance to let my breathing and heart beat quiet down so I could gather up my thoughts. That has always been the most important part of being a leader; you must no matter what, try and stay calm. I entered Raph's room and let out a joyful sigh of relief as he was fast asleep on his hammock. A small smile breaks free from the scene of my little brother. I let the door calmly and quietly close behind me as I gently approach his peacefully sleeping form. My thoughts were going in many different directions that gave me different emotions at the sight of Raph. The one thought that will forever curse my mind; is the memory of Raph screaming his heart out for something to get out of his head. The thought and spectacle of my brother in such a condition makes me frown and grunt in frustration. "What is it that Raph was talking about? Why was he screaming such a haunting thing?" There were a plethora of questions I was asking myself as I thought out loud. My thoughts were soon interrupted by Raph mumbling something in his sleep. I jump as his startling action and run up to his struggling figure. I wasn't even going to bother seeing him say anything else in his sleep any longer so I immediately awoke him from his stressful slumber. "Raph, Raph you have to get up now." I say with a hint of anger in my voice. Raph's eyes shot open at my voice and he looks at me with red veined eyes. "Wha' 'r u doin in here Leo?" Raph asked in an extremely irritated, yet exhausted tone. I stare into his amber, blood-colored veined eyes and immediately wrap my arms around his broad shoulders. Raph stiffens with confusion. My grip on him was robust which made it hard for Raph to pull himself out of my hold. "Leo, what the shell s'wrong with ya?" He asks seeming irritated but clearly concerned. "Raph, are you ok?" I ask as I pull myself out of the hug and stare straight into his amber-colored eyes. "Uhhhh...yea, m'fine fea'less." I stiffen at his response as my arms automatically pull him closer to me. "Raph let me stay in here, just so I can be sure you're alright." A long silence was spread across the room, which puts me into a small panic. I put my head down to were Raph was laying on my chest and relax my muscles to soon realize he put himself back into a deep slumber. A small smile was shared to my unconscious brother. I kiss the top of Raph's head as I put me and him in his bed. I wrap the covers tightly around us and hold him in a close grip. I gaze at him for a long time and smile at him through every second that past. "As long as you're safe Raphael, as long as you're safe." I calmly think to myself, and drift off into a deep slumber.

Raphael's POV

My eyes slowly open from my quiet slumber with me blaming the sound coming from near me. I examine every square inch of my room and then rub the white film from my eyes. The silence in the darkness of my peaceful chamber was fairly a beautiful tone to my ears. It takes me a good three minutes to notice that someone or something had a firm grip around my waist. I look to my left, and notice my leader lying tightly and peacefully on my side. I give him a blank expression, for I know I'm too tired to care that he's on me at the moment. I continue to stare at him with a blank gaze until he began to slowly open his eyes. I continue to stare at him, but instead with a small smile. A short minute passes by until a silent voice fills the room. "Raph, are you ok?" Leo asks as he lifts his head to stare into my tired golden eyes. "Eh, yea. M'fine Leo. Why'd ya keep ask'n m'that? I ask with a bit of confusion and irritation in my voice. He smiles up at me and lifts himself up to fully meet my gaze. "No reason bro, my curiosity was peaked as all." I stare into his brown eyes with nothing more than confusion, but soon shrug it off. "Well, whateva fea'less. Your call." I put my head back on my pillow and close my eyes. Not shortly after I rest my head back down, I hear rustling and then footsteps. I don't bother raising my head again to figure out what the sound was since my instincts telling me it was just Leo leaving my room. I feel a light kiss on my temple and more footsteps. My door soon closes and I lay, lone in my somber room. My eyes slowly start to close, until I hear a faint, evil sounding voice. "It's going to happen." I waste no time ad I immediately shoot up in bed and l quickly look around my room."Wha' the shell was that?!" I say to myself as I swing my legs around my bed. I continue to look around feeling wide awake and completely alarm. "After hearing somethin like tha', like shell I'm goin back to sleep." I viciously think to myself as I twitch my sweaty hands towards my sai's. I begin to calm down after an hour of staying so alert, but as soon as my breathing just starts to go back to its normal pace, Mikey busts in the door and starts to shout throughout the entire lair which nearly gives me a heart attack since I had barely calmed down. "Raphael! It's time to wake up dude!" I give my baby brother a "death stare" which makes him run the quickest I've seen of all of us out of the room. "Shell, that dude is a moron sometimes." I curse to myself as I stand up to automatically head to the bathroom. I stretch my muscles out as I walk out of my room towards the bathroom. The walk in the hallway felt long and pressured. The weight I felt on my body was unbearably ponderous. It took every bit of will power and strength I had to keep myself from collapsing to the ground. A time that felt like hours, passed and I hear another faint, evil voice. "It's too late for you; I'm slowly taking you with me." I pause in the hallway and look around once more. As I stood in the hallway with my head down, I could tell there were eyes burning through my skin which made me really uncomfortable. "Raph, what's up?" I hear Donnie ask as he gazes worriedly from the kitchen. "Ummm...nothin' I just..." I tried to state my point but too many voices were coming off from somewhere and it was truly starting to give me a vicious headache. I put a sweaty hand up to my forehead and settle down harshly in the middle of the hallway.

"Donnie?" I ask in an extremely strained tone

"Yea, Raph?" Donnie swings his head over to me and stares at me with wide eyes. The way I called his name was clear to both of us that something was wrong with me.

"Whats s'at noise?" I ask as I take my dark green hand away from my sweaty forehead and stare deep into his chocolate brown eyes from across the room. Donnie looks into my golden eyes with no other emotions than; worry, panic, fear, and concern.

"Raph, what are you talking about? The lair is silent!"

A long gaze was shared between us as I clench my teeth in frustration. He clearly doesn't hear anything. I open my mouth to say something back to him, but yet another intimidating voice comes flooding into my head, in an alot louder and harsher tone. "You cannot escape me! I'm too deep within your mind! I will soon take complete control over you!"

My eyes were enlarged to what the voice had said, causing me to automatically move my shaking hand to my sweaty forehead. The pressure I felt in my skull was awful and made it severely hard to think about anything. I struggle to my feet as sweat dramatically drips from my forehead. Donnie stares at my suffering form in awe.

"Raph, what's wrong?" The look in my little brother's eyes was telling me he was highly scared and confused. I try to give him an answer but my head was in too much abnormal pain to say anything completely.

"I...I'gotta go, Don."

Out of sheer will-power, I jump to my feet, and speed off straight to the bathroom a few feet from me. Once I was able to reach the bathroom, I slam the door loudly behind me and viciously slam my hands on the bathroom counter. I harshly shut my eyes and tried my very hardest to calm myself down. A headache started to form in the back of my brain, which was a part of my brain that couldn't be ignored, so Donnie had once claimed. I raise my violently shaking hands up to both sides of my cranium and start to moan in pain and stare into the miserable reflection in the mirror.

"What...the...heck...is goin on here?" I ask to myself out loud as I heavily fall to my knees. My heart was beating at an incredible pace and more sweat was falling from my forehead and becoming slight puddles on the bathroom floor. Breathing wasn't the easiest thing to do at the moment, and thinking about it only made it harder, until a louder, more evil and mind splitting voice was heard in my head.

"You're pathetic! Look at you, letting yourself be in such a miserable state! I will for sure take over your body, and your mind!" I clutch the sides of my head harder as I try my upmost best to try and block the voice out, but it was if it were apart of me. My teeth were clenched very firmly together and my back was arched upward since my head was down over my knees trying to block the non convincing voice out. A bone chilling, echoed fit of laughter was released inside of my head which causes me to do nothing more than scream and beg. I could no longer take the torture.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" My eyes were wide open with shock and my body was completely frozen. I stay on my knees with my still open from the violent screaming I had let free from my throat. My throat was severely soar and dry from letting out such an abnormal shout. My mind, and stomach couldn't take what was happening at that moment and my stomach began to turn. I large build-up of saliva came into my mouth and a split second later, I was removing a great deal of content from my stomach. My throat was now in a much worse condition from the acid that had coursed through my larynx. My hands were in a state of non-controllable shaking as they are subconsciously connected to the sides of my head. Small droplets of tears begin to appear in the corner of my eyes.

"What? What s'his? Am I...Scared?" I think to myself as more tears begin to flow down my pale green face.

Loud and heavy footsteps were heard coming towards my direction. The bathroom door swings open and faint muffling was heard. Three blurry green figures are shown in the doorway and one reaches there hands out to me. My body was no longer in a rampaging shake and my tears were freely falling down my face but slowly stopping themselves from escaping anymore. My hands drop down to my sides and only a few more voices were heard, a bit louder and more panicked, until I see nothing but darkness.


	4. The insanity starts

**SORRY FOR THE SLOW UPDATE YA' XD XD BUT SHANKS SHOO FOR THE INCOUREGMENT! I LOVE YOU ALL **

Chapter 4: The insanity starts

Leo, Donnie, and Mikey all glared at Raph in awe and with total fear.

"Le-Leo, what's wrong with Raph?!" Mikey asks as he hesitantly reaches his hands for his big brother.

Leo and Donnie were still sitting around Raph with pained and scared looks on their faces. Donnie was the first to knock himself out of his shock.

"Leo?" Leo was still staring at Raph in a trance of worry for his little brother.

"LEO!" Leo immediately snaps out of his trance of panic and looks Donnie straight into the eyes.

"Leo, I need you to help me carry Raph to lab!" Donnie had a gleam in his eye that was unexplainable, whatever it was, it made Leo obey what his command is, and also boost some adrenaline in his blood.

"Okay Donnie!"

"Alright Leo, on my count,"

"ONE"

Leo grabs a firm grip under Raph's forearms.

"TWO"

Donnie connects Raph's legs together and had a strong grip around his ankles.

"THR..."

Before Donnie could finish counting to lift their muscular brother into their arms, Raph's eyes shot wide open and store directly at the ceiling above. All three of Raphael's brothers were staring into his obviously unconscious eyes with the shock, again returning.

"Raph...ie?" Mikey hesitantly asks as he lays his hand on his older brother's plastron.

Donnie and Leo were about to say something, but Raph's arms began to twitch in an unordinary motion. His arms continued to do that for 30 more seconds, until his chest jerk in a high upward position and he started to shake, violently. Leo was the first of his brothers to snap himself out of his "1,000 yard stare" at his suffering brother.

"Raph! Raphael!" Leo was kneeling completely over Raph's intensely trembling body. Donnie throws himself towards Raph and pushes Leo out of his way so he could get to Raph. Fear and stress were shamelessly shown on Donnie's face. He was holding Raph's head in one hand and refused to take his eyes off of his watch.

"Guys, Raph is having a seizure!" Donnie loudly states to his two brothers. "We have to be as calm and cooperative as we can if we want to get through this."

"Leo, run as fast as your legs will carry you, and go get a pillow and a comforter! We can't have him hitting his head anymore or he'll give himself a concussion. And we have to keep him warm so he will stay calm in the process!" Donnie explains as he glares endlessly at his watch.

"Got it Don!" At the very moment, Leo jumps to his feet and busts out of the bathroom.

"Mikey, take this cloth and cover it with the hottest the water will go!" Mikey had tears streaming down his face as he watched Raph's shaking get worse.

"O-okay Donnie!" Mikey snatches the cloth from the bathroom counter and coursed his way to the kitchen.

Donnie was still glaring at his watch with more and more panic building up.

"Shell, why won't it stop?!" Donnie cursed in his mind as his eyes made his way to his progressively violent shaking brother. Leo finally came busting into the bathroom with a pillow and blanket under his arms.

"Donnie I'm back!"

"I...can see that!" Donnie yells back at him with a shaky irritated voice.

"Hurry, give me the pillow and blanket."

Leo threw the objects into Donnie's hands and ran towards his shaking brother. Donnie then slips the pillow under Raph's head and threw the blanket over Raph and spreads it across his trembling body. As Donnie and Leo were sitting around Raph, Mikey finally comes trudging into the bathroom, and out of breath. Mikey didn't waste his time in saying anything, he quickly hands Donnie the cloth and falls to his knees from panic and from wearing himself out. Donnie takes the burning cloth from Mikey and gave him a nod of thanks before placing the hot cloth on Raph's forehead. All three turtles sat in silence as they watch their red-banned brother slowly start to stop his violent trembling.

"He's been at it for 5 minutes now." Donnie suddenly states as he breaks the silence. Leo and Mikey look away from their purple-banned brother and towards Raph again. His seizure finally comes to a halt and his eyes seem completely, lifeless. Another swarm of painful silence was spread across the bathroom. It was once again broken with Raph, having a wide-eyed look on his face, smiling and him mumbling something to himself, that sounded nothing like him at all.

"Hmmmmhmmmmm, your mind is finally, mine."

**SUCKY CLIFFHANGER PEOPLE SORRY BOUTS DAT! XD XD BUT THE NEXT CHAPTER WILLS BE BETTA ;3**


	5. Brother's awakening

**DUDES! (INCLUDING LADIES), MY UPDATING SKILLS SUCK! SORRY BOUTS DAT MAH PEOPLE! BUT IZ UP NOW! XD XD ENJOOOOOY**

Chapter 5: Brothers Awakening

Raphael's POV:

Darkness envelopes every bit of my vision making it hard for me to tell if I'm blind-fold or unconscious. The pain in my head was now coursing through every part of my body which made it hard for me to move, think to the most. I slowly open my eyes, but I rapidly close them again firmly due to a horribly bright light shining, what seems to be two centimeters from my eyeballs. I hear faint muffled voices, but they soon get more clear as I pull up the courage to open my eyes and concentrate on what I'm hearing. Once my eyes were completely open, I search every inch of the area I was in. I keep searching around the room until I realize I was in Donnie's lab. It was painfully silent except the beeping and uproarious humming of Donnie's computer monitor, which will always irritate the shell out of me. I pull myself up on my elbows and do my very best to ignore the sharp pains that keep coming to my head, much worse every time. It doesn't take me long to realize that I was connected to a bunch of wires and cords, and I also had IV's placed in both of my arms.

"The heck is all dis stuff?" I ask as I tug on different wires to figure out where they connected. I then shove my hand to my sweating forehead and clench my teeth together in pain.

"Shell, m'head 'urts like_"

Before my most necessary complaining was finished, a purple-masked figure comes strolling into the lab with a severely stressed look on his face. He was obviously in his own little world at the moment since he didn't even look up once since he got in the room. I stared hard at my little brother with a concerned look on my face wondering why he was looking so strained.

"Uuuuhhhhh...D-Donnie, ya 'kay?"

Donnie slowly lifts his head from the ground and gazes at me with wide eyes. His staring lasts for a couple minutes until he suddenly gasps and runs towards me.

"Ra...Raph! Your...awake! Are you okay? Does your head hurt?"

My purple-banned brother asks a series of questions in an incredibly fast pace, making it hard for me to answer even half of a question.

"Take it easy braniac, m'fine. Trus' me bro, if der was anythin' wrong wit me, I would b'sure to tell you just to keep ya outta stresses way."

Me and Donnie share a long stare between each other but I soon curve my lips into a half-smile to quickly shove the awkwardness away. Donnie then lays his hand on my shoulder and pulls me into a tight embrace.

"God Raph. You gave me like twelve heart attacks. You've been out for nearly two days and you scared the loving shell out of all three of us."

Donnie pulls away from me, gently gripping my shoulders and staring into my half-open amber eyes.

"You were screaming extremely loud and alarmed the entire lair. Once we were able to reach you, you were blacked out on the bathroom floor and you started to have an awful seizure that lasted almost five minutes Raphie, I'm truly surprised such a hard and long attack didn't...kill you.

I gasp and widen my eyes to Donnie's terrifying statement. I immediately throw my head up and stare into his dark spotted, tired brown eyes. I truly wasn't expecting death to almost come upon me like that.

"I had...an s-seizure?"

Donnie sadly stares back into my wide open shocked eyes and slowly nods his head in response. I slowly lower my head from Donnie's intense gaze with a continuous wide-eyed stare to the floor. A long silence travels through the lab, but is soon broken by my stressed little brother saying something that nearly puts me into an anxiety attack.

"Th...Then you said...you said_"

Donnie immediately closed his mouth to block the rest of his words out then backed up into a chair and propped his head in his hands. His sudden speech left me speechless, yet leaving me to want to hear more. The scary and feared tone that Donnie has in his voice panics me and causes me to gently cup his face in my hands and stare intensely back into his eyes.

"Don, s'wrong? What did I say?! Please...tell me!"

I raised my voice to an extent to me not yelling at him, just desperate to know how I hurt my little brother and most likely, my other two brothers. Donnie didn't respond back to my pleading shout, only simply shook his head in his shaking hands. It was clear that Donnie has been stressing about something for a long time now. The look on his face obviously showed that he hasn't slept in those two days I was out. His breathing was rather slow and his body was slumped in an exhausted form as he hung his head.

"Donnie?"

I ask in a confused tone. No response was given back to me which gives me the idea that Donnie actually fell asleep. I call his name one more time.

"Don? D'you fall sleep n'me man?"

"Yes Raph? Did you say something?"

His response was weak and stale and strongly convincing me he would black out at any given moment. I quickly swing my legs over my bed and struggle to stand on my feet. I still had wires and IV connected to my arms and head which made it hard to stand without messing something up, but my sleepy brother wasn't but one foot away from me. Once I stand up and coordinate myself to stay on my feet, I rush over to my overly exhausted little brother. I waste no time as I automatically pick him up in my arms and set him gently into my lap and wrap the blanket from the bed firmly, yet comfortably around him. Donnie instantly wraps his arms around my neck as he gets more comfortable in my lap.

"Raphie, I'm worried about you. I just want you to be ok...because it pains me to see you like this."

I raise my head a bit to look into Donnie's chocolate brown eyes and give him a soothing smile. I kiss his temple and nuzzle his cheek as I pull him closer towards me.

"Ahh Donnie. You don' need ta worry lil bro. As long as I know you, Mikey, and even...Fea'less are 'kay, then I'm perfectly fine."

A small snore was spread across the lab. I pop my eyes open a bit wider in surprise and shoot my head up and find out that my braniac Donnie has finally fallen asleep for my prediction, the first time in two freakin days. A soothing smile is spread across my face for now; I know he is finally sleeping. I stay silent and rock back and forth to put Donnie more in a relaxing slumber. The soothing silence lasts a couple minutes until it was broken by Donnie mumbling in his sleep.

"I love you Raph."

I pause for a brief second then smile a half smile and kiss Donnie on his forehead.

"I love ya too lil bro, no matter waz wrong wit me."

**AWWW SO CUTE! :3 :3 BUT YA'LL KNOW IZ FAR FROM OVER RIGHT! XD**


	6. Author's Note

Author's note:

Guys, I'm soooo freakin sorry for how long this 6th chapter is taking. I feel awful But I'm working on it now and I'll try to have it done as soon as possible for you lovely people! Again though, I'm soooo sorry

P.S: I might need some ideas for what you guys might want the 7th chapter to be about. Anything (as long as it doesn't involve anything sexual, or involve cussing.)

Read & Review people cause this story's for you ;)


	7. Screaming

**OH…MY…GOODNESS! GUYS, I'M SOOO SORRY FOR MAKIN YOU WAIT FUR DIS CHAPTER! :O :O BUT I GOT IT UP NOW AND I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT! **

Chapter 6: Screaming

It's been five weeks since the incident of what happened to Raphael and it has mostly been forgotten by everyone, including him.

The four brothers were all training hard in the dojo.

"Alright guys, since it has been clear this whole time that master splinter isn't here, I'll be your training...leader thing today." Leo smiles as he cockily holds one katana on his shoulder.

"Leo, this is only the second time Master Splinter went on his trip to Japan to see "The Ancient One." Are you sure you can remember what to do? I mean, you don't even know what a "training teacher" is called." Stated Donnie as he takes out his Bo staff and ready's himself in a fighting stance and gives Leo a sarcastic eye ridge. Mikey and Raph were both getting in fighting stances as well and unsheathed their weapons.

"Ahhh come on Don, I'm sure Leo's got everything under control here."

Mikey says to kiss-up to Leo as he shares his toothiest smile.

"Thank you Mikey. Relax Donnie, I can totally handle this. Am I right Raph?"

Leo asks as he throws his glare away from his youngest brother and towards his red-banned brother.

"Huh? Uhhh yea, whateva."

Raph replies as he rolls his eyes in complete uninterest and twirls his Sais.

"Now r'we gonna do dis er wha'?!"

"Indeed. Ok guys, Ready, GO!"

Leo had Mikey and Donnie had Raph. All four warriors lunged at their opponent and began their training. Donnie flung his Bo staff at Leo's arm, which Leo easily dodges and then crouches, sticks his leg out and spins 360 degrees tripping Donnie and causing him to fall face first to the dojo mats.

"Focus Don, you must at all times, look your opponent clear in the eyes to know, his next move."

Donnie grunted in frustration and helped himself to his feet.

"Aight Mikey, I'm takin ya down."

Raph claims as he gets in a firm fighting stance and harshly spins his Sais.

"Haha! Ok Raph, but remember...umm...well, you know...never mind!" At that, Mikey then lunged out a Raph quickly spinning his nunchuks. Mikey spun his nunchuks and them straight at Raph's head. Raph clearly saw what Mikey was aiming for and quickly reacted by grabbing Mikey's arm and throwing him hard to the ground. Mikey then groaned and rubbed the back of his head.

"Gee Raph, crack my shell next time."

Mikey said as he lifts himself up on his elbows with a sarcastic smile.

"Hmmm, sorry bout dat bro."

Raph responds with a small chuckle as he helps Mikey back up to his feet.

It was now Raph and Leo's turn to spar. Both brothers got in their fighting stances and unsheathed their weapons.

"You ready fer dis fea'less; er do I need ta go soft on ya?" Raph says as he skillfully spins his Sais. Leo stares Raph down mockingly which causes Raph to instantly lunge at Leo with medium force. Raph then swings his Sai at Leo which Leo blocks and jabs his swords towards Raph's leg. Raph immediately brings his Sai down and the sound of metal clashing fills the room.

"I'm takin you down fea'less."

Raph claims as he pushes up on Leo's katana's. With that Leo forcefully pulls his swords up and swings the both towards Raph multiple times. Raph dodges most of his swings but, gets a deep gash on his arm which stops Raph clear in his tracks. Warm blood begins to drip down from the gash which causes Leo and Raph to both look in horror as to just what happen.

"Raph, I...I'm sorry! Are you ok?" Leo asks as he drops his swords and runs over to Raph. Raph stares Leo in his brown shining eyes with intensity, and then gives him a small smirk. Leo then sighs in relief as he pats Raph on the shoulder.

"Uhh...yea, sorr' fea'less I...umm just got...a bit… distracted." With that, Raph's eyes shoot open and his heart began to beat at an unbearable rate and small droplets of sweat started to flow down Raph's face. Raph slowly glared down towards his deep cut arm, wide-eyed and in horror as if he has never seen blood before, and it was greatly traumatizing. Raph suddenly had an extremely uncomfortable, yet too familiar feeling growing powerfully in his chest. Raph's breathing became hard and laboured and the sweat began to fall harder and more drastically down his browns and around his body. Raph's heavy breathing was the only thing that kept breaking the silence in the dojo of troubled siblings. Leo, Mikey, and Donnie watched in awe as the red clad brother fell to his knees dropping his Sais hard to the ground and firmly clutching his head with one hand and his deeply cut arm with the other. Leo grabs one of Raph's forearms and tugs it with worry.

"Raph...are you ok? What's wrong? What's happening?!" Leo asks as he kneels down to his struggling brother. Donnie and Mikey waste no time jumping to their feet and galloped to Raph.

"Raph, dude! Whats wrong bro?! Are you sick or somethin?!" Mikey asks with complete worry

"Raph, are you ok?!" Donnie yells putting his hand on Raph's shoulder

Raph was clenching his teeth so tensely, that it seemed as if they would break right there in then. Raph started to gasp loudly, trying his very hardest to keep his breathing under control but was losing the battle to keep his oxygen stable. Raph then collapsed to the floor, leaving the other three brothers and himself confused and panicked. Raph didn't feel himself being lifted from his still position, he just felt and saw the darkness quickly closing in on him.

_"Oh Raphie. Its been so long since we last saw each other." _

_A voice smoothly spoke in the pure darkness. Raph was gazing in every direction of the darkness, trying to seek who just spoke._

_"Who the shell ish'you?!" _

_There was a long pause in the pitch black emptiness and it began to tick Raph off to no end. _

_"SHOW YOUR FREAKIN SELF!" Raph yelled as showed pure aggression and anger._

_"Ok Raphie." The voice said with a soothing tone that made it crystal that he was smiling. "Anything for you" _

_With that, the creature stepped out of the pitch dark and was clearly shown to Raph's eyes. Raph stared back at the figure in shock and fear. "He was staring...at himself!" Raph thought in complete panic. The other Raph had; Blood glowing red eyes, blatantly showing though his dark red mask and his teeth seemed to be almost razor sharp._

_"Why hello Raphie." Evil Raph smiled as he approached Raph closer. "Its so good to finally see you."_

_Raph was in wide-eyed shock as he gazed deeply in his evil twins eyes. Not much time passed when Raph realized his evil self was only inches away from him. Raph backed away in complete fear, but managed to gasp out words._

_"Your...How...did you...What are...you?"_

_His evil self stepped much closer to him and gently stroked his face with a sinister smile on his face._

_"I'm you Raphie. I'm your pain, your ANGER...Except, either one only makes me stronger." Evil Raph cupped Raph's face in his trenchant clawed hands and shot his blood glowing eyes into Raph's terrified wide-eyed amber eyes. Evil Raph closed in to the side of Raph's face and sent painful chills down his spine as he whispered into his ear. _

_"I have you Raphie. Your...MINE."_

_Evil Raph then screeched loudly into Raph's ear causing him to hear the screams of numerous people._

Raph flew up in bed, breathing harder then he ever has before, holding his hand to his heart and feeling the hard pounding of it to his chest. He gets a sharp pain in his arm and shoots his glare towards his injured limb and noticed the white bandages, wrapped tightly around.

"Oh yea, daz were Leo clip' me."

He thought as he tore his gaze away from his arm. Raph searched around the darkness, fearing he was still in that AWFUL nightmare. He soon realized he was in his room. He began to relax, but memories of the horrible sight of himself, 'evil.' shot into his eyes. He soon threw his palms to his ears, hearing the horrible screams of too many different people and bringing severe pain to his psyche, and they were only getting louder and more hurtful. Raph screwed his eyes shut and clenched his teeth together, trying to block the pain of the terrifying screams from his head causing him to moan in pain. The memory of hearing such screams was becoming to much for him to hear. Raph suddenly threw his head up in the air, still tightly gripping his ears and shouted out in pain.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! IT HURTS! IT HURTS! STOOOOOOOP!" He tried to fight the unbearably growing pain in his head, but something was zapping his strength away. He felt like he was losing his mind, he could feel himself changing. Raph began to shout again. Shout for anyone's help, Leo's help.

"L-LEO! PLE...ASE! HELP ME! IT HURTS!" Raph was now on his knees very firmly clutching his head, sobbing and begging for help. The screams were getting much worse and his shouting became louder and more hoarse.

With that, Leo came busting into Raph's room not bothering to waste even a millisecond to rush over to Raph and hold him in his arms.

Raph then buried his head into Leo's chest clutching his head tighter every passing moment.

"LEO! PLEASE...MAKE IT STOP! STOP THE SCREAMING! IT...IT HURTS SO BAD!"

Leo stared down at Raph in total hurt and panic. He held Raph close to him and tried his hardest to stay calm.

"RAPH! LISTEN TO THE SOUND OF MY VOICE! JUST TRY AND CALM DOWN AND ONLY LISTEN TO ME!" Raph continued to struggle and scream, but almost immediately stopped his harsh thrashing and screaming and fell completely silent. Raph was also no longer holding his head, his arms slid down and fell to his sides and his body was highly relaxed. Out of nothing but brotherly panic and just plain panic, Leo began to wonder the worst for his suffering little brother since such a sudden relaxation could only mean one thing. Leo ten immediately threw his hand under Raph's chin and gently raised Raph's head to see his face. But what Leo saw nearly gave him a heart attack; Raph's eyes were blood-shot glowing red and was smiling, terrifyingly

**YOU KNOW, WHO EVER SAID WRITINTG AND LIFE WAS EASY? LOLZ BUT I AINT GIVE YA'LL NO SPOILERS. BUT PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEEEASE READ & REVIEW. I REEEEEALLY WANNA KNOW WATCHU GUYS THINK OF THIS STORY SO FAR. **


	8. Continued torture

**A'IGHT PEOPLE, LISTEN UP…..AHH I AIN'T GOT NON' TA SAY.**

Chapter 7: Continued torture

Leo gazed into Raph's blood colored eye in horror while a massive wave of confusion washed over his mind. Leo continued to stare into Raph's eyes clearly not knowing what to do. He soon noticed the tears forming and quickly falling from Raph's demon eyes. Raph slowly raised his head up to look directly into the eyes of his distraught older brother. The horrifying smile that Raph was showing immediately formed into a scared frown and he again slowly brought his hands back up to his head and let the large tears falling from his eyes fall harder and mouthed a frightened: "help me." Leo's eyes then widened to an enormous size and immediately shot his hands out to grasp Raph's hands, which were firmly gripping his head.

"Raph! Whats happening?! Can you...Raph?! Whats wrong, little brother?!"

"L-Leo?"

"I'm right here, Raph! Please, whats going on?!"

Leo yells in panic and concern as he gripped firmly onto Raph's hands. Raph slowly took his hands away from his head and reached for Leo's shaken shoulders.

"Le..o, p-please. You..g-gotta...lemme...g-go. P-please k-kill me...It..hu..rts...so much."

Raph's words of pleading came out as hard struggles for Leo to let him leave, let him die. Leo was dismayed at his brothers' words and got even more terrified and distressed.

"No, Raph. I can't let you go anywhere! And I'm definitely _NOT_ going to...to _KILL YOU_! Something's happening to you and..."

Leo was soon cut off by a vociferous shout of pain.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! STOP! STOP THE NOISE! AHHHH!"

"Raph!"

With that, Leo immediately swooped Raph into his strong arms and sprinted towards Donnie's Lab.

Donnie was working on an experiment that he claimed lasted a couple of weeks. Mikey had been chillin in his lab for the time being just to; 'keep Donnie company.'

"Hey Donnie, Can I touch this?!"

Mikey yelled from half way across the room. Donnie didn't respond at once, for he was working on his computer, doing research to continue his experiment, but was clearly getting aggravated with Mikey's random out bursts. He impatiently pushes back from his desk and twirls around in his chair and stops directly to look into his baby brothers Crystal blue eyes.

"Mikey! I have no physical, mental, nor verbal way I can make you understand that I'm working on..."

Donnie was quickly cut off by Leo bursting into the lab doors with a struggling Raph in his arms.

"Donnie! Please, You HAVE to help Raph! Something's wrong with him!"

Donnie And Mikey were both staring wide-eyed in shock and confusion, but didn't take long to coordinate to the current situation. Donnie quickly shot up from his chair and ran rapidly to Leo and Raph. Raph was still struggling and squirming in Leo's hold and obviously was getting worse. Luckily, The blood glowing color in Raph's eyes disappeared, but clearly showed that his eyes were open wide with crystal signs of fear in every part. He was still deeply panicking and he continued to scream and clutch his sweat coated head very firmly.

"N-NO! PL-PLEASE STOP SCREAMING! IT HURTS TOO MUCH!

Leo was truly panicking and confused on what to do and immediately began to blame himself for Raph's suffering.

"Dang it! Why didn't I see this coming! This is all my fault!"

Leo was soon snapped out of his paranoid out bursts by a firm grip on his arm. Leo shot his head up and glared deeply into chocolate brown eyes.

"Leo, Raph needs you to be strong for him. he needs you to there for him. He would definitely think this isn't your fault. be there for him."

Donnie gives Leo a half-smile, which Leo shortly returns, but both smiles are soon lived out by Raphael's grieving and pleading shouts.

"AHHH! MAKE IT STOP! I CAN'T...AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! STOP SCREAMING! PLEASE!"

Leo then sprints over to lay Raph down on the lab table with Donnie closely following. Once they got Raph on the table, he must have thought someone or something was holding him down causing him to instantly start to thrash around in a panic, hard.

"NO! STOP! LET ME GO! SOMEONE HELP ME!"

Raph had his eyes open completely wide with panic and his thrashing was more powerful. Raph no longer had a strong grip on his head, he now had one hand grasped firmly around his neck and the other gripping hard enough to the table to show his knuckles become white and even draw blood. All three brothers ran to each side of their helpless brother and tried their very hardest to try and calm him down (mainly Donatello).

Donnie gazed directly into Raph's eyes while the other two held tightly onto his arms.

"Raph, Raphie"

Donnie soothed as he gently stroked Raph's face while avoiding his kicking legs.

"Raph, look into my eyes. You have to calm down big brother."

Raph continued to thrash around, but he was now glaring half-mindedly into Donnie's eyes and took a firm grip on Donnie's wrist while tears streamed down his emerald green cheeks.

"There you go, Raphie. Keep looking into my eyes. It's ok. No one's going to hurt you. I...I'll stop the noise."

Donnie kept gently stroking Raph's face and whispered soothing words into his ear. Raph's hard thrashing finally managed to slow down and he brought himself to calm down completely. The tight grip that Raph had on a Donnie's wrist had slowly began to loosen causing Donnie to give a relieved smile. Raph now had his full attention on Donnie's eyes as tears continued to trickle down his own while Don continued to stroke Raph's face and wipe away his tears with his thumb. Donnie's smile soon turned into a sad frown by the painful attempt of talking Raph tried to do.

"d-don..nie, i..it...hur..."

"Shhh." Donnie cooed as he used one hand to stroke one side of Raph's sweat coated face and the other to pull Raph's weak hand away from his neck.

"Shhh Raphie. Don't talk. Your gonna be ok."

Leo and Mikey immediately gripped one of Raph's hands and helped Donnie calm their feared red-clad brother. Raph's breathing was hard and labored and his eyes were still open to a massive extent and he was still absent-mind mumbling to himself which brought concerned looks on the other three turtles faces.

"The...sc...reaming. I..it won'...stop."

All three brother's were glaring deep into Raph's golden eyes with sadness and fear. Donnie was still stroking Raphael's face as Raph's eyes began to slowly droop closed and gently shushing him.

"Shhh, hush now Raphie. It's ok. It's alright."

With that, Raph completely closed his eyes and relaxed his head against Donnie's hand which was still placed softly on his cheek. Raphael's body was no longer tense or under any stress which led to all three brothers forming relived smiles and Donnie leaning in to kiss Raph's forehead.

"Donnie, w-what happened to Raph?"

Mikey asked with sadness shamelessly shown in his voice.

"He had a panic attack Mikey. But, something else isn't right with him. Raph has been waking up screaming from nightmares a lot, but...him screaming and having a fit like THIS, has NEVER happened before."

All three brothers turn their heads to look at their now knocked out brother in desperation.

"Thank G-d Master Splinter is coming back tomorrow. He's the only one who can REALLY help Raph's situation."

Leo states as he walks up and gingerly rubs his hand on Raph's plastron. The younger two nod in agreement as Donnie walks around to the other side of Raph and knots his brows at his rapidly breathing, pale form as Raph mumbled in his sleep.

"L..Leo, m'sorry..I..."

Leo gazes at his brother in awe as he gently pushes on Raph's plastron to get some of his breathing to a normal pace and rubs his forehead. Donnie was studying Raph up and down then finally released a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. Donnie took Leo's hands and gently pushed them off Raph's body but kept his sight on Raphael.

"Guys, I have to do some research on Raph to figure out whats happening to him."

It didn't take too long for Leo and Mikey to understand what Donnie wanted, so Leo and Mikey hesitantly turned to walk out of the Lab, but Leo stayed and hung at the door for a sharp moment.

"Please Don, help Raphael."

Leo then walked out of sight of the lab closing the door silently behind him, leaving a strained Donatello behind to study Raphael's condition. Donnie brought a shaking hand up to Raph's neck to rub across the red mark he left from holding on so tightly resulting in small tears dropping from the corners of his eyes.

"Master Splinter, we need you. Raph needs you."


	9. Talkin Crazy

**SORRY BOUTS DA SLOW UPDATES YA'LL!**

Chapter 8: Talkin Crazy

_**********"You are so smug, ya know dat?! You think da worl' revolve' 'round you don' chu? Tha' we couldn' possibly survive without da mighty and powerful Leonardo ta guid' us th'ough our prob'ms, huh?! W'll I gotta news flash for ya: we gotta along jus' fine without 'chu."_

_"Oh and this is what you qualify as 'just fine?' Dressing up like its Halloween every night? Risking the safety of our family? M' mean come on, what were you thinking?!"_

_"Don' push it Leo. You can' leave home n'come back expectin us to fall in line again, like ya lil soilda's."_

_"Hey I was training! Training to be a better leader, for YOU!... Why do you HATE me for that?!"..._

_"HATE me...HATE me...HATE me...***************_

Raphael bolted up-right in bed, with bucket-loads of cold sweat dripping from his brows. The only bit of proof that shown he had woken up, was the instant change in background once he had opened his eyes. Raph searched cautiously around the new sceneary and soon realised he was in the lab and alone, again. Raphael attentively took his hands to his sweat drenched forehead and slowly closed his eyes to try and calm his hard and laboured breathing. Once his breathing was just barely calmed, he made the attempt to sit up, yet his actions were soon rejected by a sharp piercing pain in his head. Raphael instantly let his body go limp and slammed back on the bed he was placed in. Thats when he slowly lifted his gaze up to peer at different colored wires attached to his head. Raph searched rapidly about the wires with wide-eyes and began to panic.

"Don..Donnie." Raph tries to shout in a panicked yet quite, hoarse voice. He knew he was alone and also not loud enough for someone to come to his aid.

"Donnie!" Raph started to raise his voice due to the sudden feeling of panic continuing to rise inside of him. That's when Raphael "thought" that he felt the wires shock and electrocuted him which pulled him in a full out panic of not being able to move and pleading for assistance. His heart was beating at a fantastic rate and his breathing was incredibly fast. If he went even ALITTLE further with his fast pace breathing, he may even start hyperventilating.

"DONNIE!" At that moment, Raphael shouted as loud as his vocal cords would possibly expand. He didn't dare move not any part of his body, through fear of thinking the shock of the wires would struck him harder. Raph's back suddenly arched upward when he thought the shock was getting stronger, and more deadly. Donnie then busted into the lab dripping wet and panting his hardest. Donatello then landed his eyes directly on Raphael's still, yet badly frightened form. Raph shot his head to his genius brothers direction in wide-eyes and began to plead for the wires to be taken off.

"Donnie...please, take these...wires off me..."

Donnie then dashed towards Raph and noticed the unnaturally rapid heart beat he had, plus the horribly strained breathing and the twitching muscles. It seemed that Donnie had teleported from the door to Raphael due to how fast he moved. Donnie searched rapidly over the heart monitor and his computer screen to see what was happening with Raph's brain. Every measurement on both monitors were not too unstable, but unstable enough to show that something was wrong with Raphael. Donatello's quick and skilled thoughts were soon interrupted by the sound of a loud whimper of pain. Donnie spun around on the balls of his feet to witness Raph sitting on the side of his bed with his hand clutching tightly to his chest trying his hardest to calm his breathing, yet failing miserably.

"Donnie! These...wires are...AHHH!...Shocking me!"

Raphael's breathing was becoming even more laboured and hard and tears were rushing down his face. Donatello immediately ran towards Raph and grasped both sides of his head and placed his forehead to Raph's while speaking with a calming voice.

"Raphie, listen to me your having a panic attack. These wires aren't doing anything to hurt you. Their only there to monitor your brain."

Donnie glared intensely into Raph's eyes and gave him an encouraging and soothing smile. His breathing began to go back to a normal pace as he stared back. The pain from the "shock" began to subside as Raphael's breathing went back to its normal pace. Raph slowly raised his hand up to Donnies cheek and slide it across his eye and gave him a sad smile.

"'Ey, Donnie-boy don' cry."

Donnie's eyes enlarged at Raph's statement and instantly took his hand away from Raph's head while leaving his forehead on Raph's, and rubbed across his eye and down his cheek. He WASN'T crying. Donnie then brought his gaze back to Raph with his brows knotted in confusion. Raph now had a sad frown on his face and raised both hands to Donnies's face.

"Donnie, please sto' cryin'. m'ok now.""

"Ra-Raph, I'm not crying."

Donnie couldn't stop his confusion and a bit of fear from growing inside. 'What the heck is Raph talking about? I'm not crying." Donnie thought to himself as he knelt down in front of Raph and pressed his hands to his thighs. A tear began to roll down Raph's cheek and he suddenly pulled Donnie into a warm embrace which confused Donnie a bit more.

"Donnie...I'm sorry. I didn't mean ta make any of ya worry. Jus' don' cry anymore." Donatello sat in that position for a moment, started. Donnie then pushed himself out of the embrace and glared into sad and non-focused Raph's golden orbs in confusion and with a bit of frustration. Donnie reached for Raph's hand and put it to his face.

"Raph, does it look or feel like I'm crying?"

"Iz ok Don Lez go ta Leo, 'e'll make ya tears sto'."

With that, Raph gently took Donnie's hand in his and guided him, clumsily out of the lab.

Donnie was now having a severly hard time concentrating at the moment. 'Why the shell is Raph saying I'm crying? Is he ok? Did this have something to do with this weird..."shock" he thought the wires were doing? "Thought?"' Donnie couldn't keep his eyes off of Raph as they continued their way to the living room. Unfortunately, he didn't noticed they had already reached their destination during his train of thought. 'Gee, I had no idea the living room was so close.' Donnie thought to himself with an irritated look on his face.

"Don, look there's Leo. He looks pretty P.O'd, but ya can 'ork yer way pas' 'is anger." Donnie was keeping his eyes on Raph as he we was talking but soon soon turned his gaze to Leonardo when Raph mentioned he was there and angry. Donnie kept his glare on Leo to see any sign of anger in his leader, but he was sitting on the couch laughing with Mikey. Both Leo and Mikey then looked behind them and saw his two younger brothers standing in the front area of the living room and gave both of his younger brothers a smile.

"H~hey Donnie and Raph. Whats up?"

"Sup mah brothas! howsh ya dahn?!"

Raph gave them both a sad, yet reassuring smile and started to rub up and down Donnie's forearm which shot his attention directly to his hot-headed brother.

"Leo, I c'n see dat cha pretty mad righ' now but, poor Donnie won' sto' cryin and I was wonderin if you coul' 'elp 'im out."

Raph explained calmly while walking himself and his 'crying' little brother towards their 'irate' older brother. The smile that Leo held upon his face a few moments ago was quickly lowered to a tiny frown as he stared at Raph with the same confused look Donnie STILL held on his face.

"Ummmmm...Raph, Donnie's ummm..not..not crying. And I'm not...mad."

Mikey kept looking from Donnie to Raph and then to Leo. 'What da fudge?' Mikey thought to himself as Raph's explaining transferred in his mind.

"Raph, are you ok? I mean, I know you've been goin through these weird attacks in your head lately, but..." Mikey was soon cut off by Raph backing away from Donnie with his hands help up in surrender and staring at Leo with complete alarm and, was that a bit of FEAR? Donnie then turned his head to look at his frightened brother and then back at Leo. Raph kept backing away from his three brothers staring wide-eyed and had full focus on Leonardo. like Leo was going to attack him. Leo slowly got up from his seat and gingerly began to walk towards Raph with his hands held half-way in front of him and a 'I'm-not-going-to-hurt-you' look on his face, yet Raphael acted as if he didn't see the look that Leo was clearly showing in his expression. Raph finally had backed up far enough to bump harshly into Master Splinter's door and fell to the ground.

"Raph...whats wrong? I'm not going to hurt you."

"Please, Leo. I didn' come fer trouble. I...I jus' need you ta 'elp Don...I promise...I won' do anything bad. I'm sorr'."

Leonardo was now looking at Raphael with utter concern. Leo then ran over to Raph, -leaving the two youngest scared and confused- and tightly gripped his wrists.

"Raphael! Stop talking like this! I'm NOT going to hurt you!"

Raph was glaring into Leo's eyes with pure fear. Raphael then jerked his wrists out of Leo's grasp and sprinted to the other side of the living room towards Donnie.

"Leo...please, don' kill me. I..I promise, I won' be trouble no more. please...please don' kill me."

Raph was gazing at Leo from where he stood in now nothing but fear. Leo then slowly reached his hands up to the hilts of his swords and began to pull them out, which put an already horribly trembling Raphael into a full blown panic.

"NO! Leo PLEASE! I...I'm sorry! I won'..."

Raph was soon cut off by the sound of metal falling hard to the floor and had shown Leo had thrown both Katanas to the ground and the room fell oddly silent. All three turtles looked up at Leonardo in shock as he stood in front of Master Splinter's door and had his hands held out stomach level, proving he had thrown something down. Leo then began to walk his slowest and most innocent towards Raph with his hands still held down at stomach level in surrender. Once Leo reached Raph, Raph kept his tight gaze intensely on Leo but softened his alertness once he saw the tears in Leo's eyes. Leo then sank slowly to his knees and gingerly placed his hands on Raph's legs.

"Raphie, I'm...I would never...k-kill you. Why would you...think that?"

Raph was staring wide-eyed into Leo's eyes. His muscles kept flexing and un-flexing at Leonardo's touch. Raphael was about to open his mouth and say something, but was cut-off by the sound of their Master's door sliding open. All four brothers turned to their father's direction and couldn't bring themselves to say anything; Donnie and Mikey from confusion and concern, Leo from plain hurt and confusion, and Raph from fear and pain. Master Splinter knew every expression his sons were showing and began to worry.

"My sons, what troubles you all so?"

Donnie then jumps up from his spot next to Mikey and runs over to his father with Mikey following close.

"Master Splinter, Raph...he...I think he..."

"Nothin'"

Donnie was instanty cut off by the gruff sounds of Raph's deep brooklyn accent.

"Nothin's wron' Masta Splinta...we..."

Raph's voice suddenly trailed off as he fell forward and fell limp into Leo's arms which caused Leo to worry even more for his hot-headed little brother.

" RAPH?! RAPH! Donnie! Something's wrong with Raphael!"

Donnie quickly tore himself from Master Splinters gaze and shot himself towards his two older brothers and checked over Raph. Donnie grabbed hold of Raph's arm to check his pulse and sighed in relive when he felt a strong pulse and a silent snore.

"Don't panic, Leo. He just fell asleep again; he did only wake up 10 minutes ago. He's ok, for the moment."

Donnie explains as he gently takes Raph out of Leo's grasp. Leo then sighs in relieve at Donatello's explanation. Donnie then picks Raph up Bridal style and lets out a silent gasp when he realized how LIGHT Raph was getting. Donnie kept looking over Raphael's abnormally light-weight body and turned his expression into a sad face. Mikey soon walks over and examines Raph in all directions.

"Hey Don? Why was Raph acting like that not too long ago?" Mikey asks as he props his hands on Raph's plastron. Donnie lifted his head and gave Mikey a quick smile and lowered his head to look at Raphael again.

"Don't worry Mikey, Raph's just a little sleepy is all. He'll get better."

"You promise?"

Donnie shot his head up to look at his little brother and gave him no answer.

"Do you promise Donnie?!"

"Yes, I promise Mike."

Mikey gave Donnie a joyful grin and walked over to Leo who was still on his knees with a hurt and confused look on his face. Donnie glanced over to Leo and gives him a sad smile.

"Don't worry Leo. Raph didn't mean all of that. He's...He was just tired and still in 'sleep mode' if you know what I mean."

Donnie chuckles as he looked into Leo's almost black eyes.

Leo gave Donnie a smirk and waved him off to take care of Raph. Donnie turned his head to Master Splinter who was still standing at his door and gave him a nod. He then turned around to leave the living room but turned his head to give the remaining members of the room one more reassuring smile.

"Don't worry you guys, Raph is gonna be Ok."

"I Hope." he mumbled under his breath as he completely left the room.

Donnie kept his eyes forward as he continued to walk down the hall with an out cold Raphael in his arms. Donatello looked down at Raph and let out a mornfol sigh and directed himself towards his room. Once Donnie reached his room, he gently opened the door and placed Raphael on the bed. Donnie then walked over to Raph and kneeled down next to him and placed his hand on his forehead. He then formed a half-smile when he heard another soft snore.

"Sleep well Raphie, you'll be ok."

Donny then stood up and began to walk away. But before he could turn around and leave, he felt a tight yet soft grip on his wrist. Donny then turned his head to see Raph holding his wrist and looked into his chocolate brown eyes with fear.

"No, Donnie...please...don' lea'e me alo'e."

Donnie felt tears begin to form in his eyes to his older brothers begging. His usually hot-tempered brother had tears rolling down his face like Niagra falls, which broke the genius turtles heart. Donnie then walked over to Raph's side and held his hand tightly in both of his and store him gently in his golden orbs.

"Donnie, please don' lea'e me by mysel'."

"I won't, Raph. I promise I won't leave you alone, ever."

Raph's tears began to fall harder and he moved over so Donnie could get on the other side of the bed. Donnie then gave Raph a soothing smile and got on the other side of the bed and wrapped the covers tightly around both of them and pulled Raph close to his chest. Raph swung his arms around Donnie's waist and held him tight and buried his face in his chest.

"Don' lea'e me, Donnie. I didn' mean ta 'urt 'im. 'M sorry Don'."

Donatello kept quiet listening to his brothers pleading and felt tears roll down his face. Donnie hadn't the slightest idea of what Raph was talking about but, even a freaking idiot could tell it was tearing him apart. Raph was now in a deep sleep for his loud yet sleep-wise breathing filled the room. Donnie then formed a small smile as he slowly drifted into sleep.

"I'm not gonna leave you Raphie. Sleep well big brother."


	10. Authors Note

Chapter 10: Author's Note

Hello reada's my dahhlings! I just wanted your permission to ask if I could take a break for a little while for two reasons:

One: I BADLY want to draw a picture. My bro (she knows who I'm talkin bout) while esplain what I mean.

Two: I'm sorta havin a writer's block and have to think up what the 10th chapter goin' be bout. But truthfully, I would love your ideas on what you lovely people should think its about. Just review it up and tell me watcha want and its yours.

But again, just askin for you awesome viewers for permission if I can take a break fer a lil til I can figure out what I'm gonna make the 10th chapter about.

ANY IDEAS?

Review it up people.


	11. You've gone crazy

A'ight, listen up people. I finally drew my picture! Plus, I figures out what the halo imma writ' this chapter bout. :3 Ahh, life is good if you let if be.

raphiecandy3426: Giiiiiirrrrllll, you da bomb! I took dat: Raph goin crazy and attackin someone in account so i'm considering puttin dat up in my next chapter, but instead he's gonna go all out and try to hurt himself. It helped, so thank you very much for that idea :)

Also, with a guest that reviewed said somethin about him havin hallucinations and stuff from different memories and even stuff that didn't even happen. So that was put in dis chapter too. Thanx a lot fer dat. :)

Chapter 10: You've gone crazy

Donatello shot his eyes open from his soothing slumber by the gentle tug of his arm. Donnie slowly raised himself up from the soft mattress on his elbow and glared at the emerald green hand holding his arm, trying to get his eyes to adjust through the pitch darkness. Once Donnie was able to see as best as his eye-sight would let him, he let out an enormous yawn and stared into Raphael's flashlight golden eyes through the dark.

"Raphie, waz *yawn* wrong?" Donne slurred as he sat all the way up and turned his head to gaze at the green LED lit numbers on his alarm clock. 3:30 A.M.

"Donnie, I...ummm..."

Donatello kept his glare on Raphael's golden orbs as he continued to stutter through his sentence, which made it rather complicated for Donnie not to chuckle.

"Don, ya guys don'...hate me, do ya?"

Donnie was now completely awake after hearing such a question and his chuckles were put to a halt, especially from Raphael. Raph is the hot-headed and toughest one of all of the turtles, who normally doesn't give a crap of what people think of him. Donatello glared into Raph's eyes with more intensity, but showed shock and a sprinkle of sadness. All the ingredients in the genius turtle to ask his older brother:

"W-What?"

"Ya guys...said y-ya hated me c-cuz I di' somethin' wron'."

Donnie couldn't believe a single vocable that was coming out of his hot-tempered brother's mouth. Donnie brought both hands up to Raphael's face and felt the wetness of tears continue to stream down Raph's cheeks.

"Raph, listen. We could NEVER hate you. Your our; brother, our protector, this world would be totally empty if anything were to happen to such an amazing person...turtle such as yourself."

Donnie couldn't see through the darkness to get a glimpse of his brother's expression, but could easily tell his brother had a small smile formed on his face. Raphael gently transported his hand up to Donnie's, which still lay on the sides of Raph's face, and leaned into Donnie's touch which welcomed Donnie to flat-out smile.

"Come on Raph, lets go back to sleep. Training starts in about...what? 3 hours now and you and me BOTH know we don't want Leo on our shells for a poor preformance."

Raph actually had to laugh a bit on that one, since it was so freakin' true.

"Yea, tha's true. Our fea'less leada is a bit of a hassle when it be comin to a poor perfo'mance."

Raph agreed as he plops down next to Don and snuggled closer to his chest. A peaceful silence was spread across the room as both brothers began to slip back in to a deep slumber, but was soon broken by Donnie's voice.

"Hey, Raph?"

" *yawn* Yea Donnie-boy?"

Donnie then shifted his weight so he could face his now lethargic older brother and placed his hand on his forehead.

"Are you...ok?"

Raphael released as faint chuckle as he ran his own hand down his face and bursted into a quiet laugh. Raph then shifted his body so he kneeled on all fours on top of his little brother. Raph gazes into Donnie's chocolate brown, hooded eyes and gave him a comforting smile as he lays both hands on the sides of Donnie's face.

"Donnie, M'kay. An' like ya sai' befo'e, jus' a lil sick is all."

Raphael leaned down and planted a kiss on his younger brother's forehead. Donatello slowly lowered his eyelids as the weight on them began to increase as Raph lowered himself to lie back next to his little brother and snuggled him as close to his chest as he could go. Donatello now lay limp against Raph's chest in another peace filled slumber, with Raphael closely following behind.

Its been almost a month since Raphael had another incident and everyone in the lair had pretty much learned their lesson in forgetting that another attack could come at any given moment. No, it really wasn't simple to tell that something was wrong with Raphael. Since the attacks kept going in an unbearable on and off motion, it was most likely making it mere child's play for him to hide any symptoms he may be experiencing. After such a long period of time with no problem happening, fooling everyone in the lair was no contest any longer, except for Master Splinter. He was the core of all the turtle's ninjutsu. The reason each of them had such unique abilities and could all fight with honor. But only one had the poor ability to hide any issues one would be suffering through. Both Michelangelo and Donatello never hid anything from their father, or any of their family members in that matter. Whether they were sick, sad, injured, or even just had to rant about something they would defiantly tell it to anyone they could get their attention to. Leonardo was neutral. He would tell someone about anything that is necessary to tell someone, but if it's something petty and would leave someone or himself to not bother with the issue, he would most likely not tell anyone about it. Raphael was the most difficult of all of his brothers. He has a steamed personality leaving anything to set the dude to new heights. Anyone would leave it plain and simple and say; you normally have to force information out of him or just leave it alone until he breaks. Raphael is doing an amazing job not showing his illness, but it is straight to see in Splinter's eyes that something horrible is clouding his son's mind, destroying him and slowly and painfully taking him down. And now, something is terribly wrong with him, and it can show as soon as it gets the chance.

"YO DONNAH! GET DOWN HERE BRUH, BREAKFAST'S-A-WASTIN' AWAY!"

Mikey yelled as he skillfully flipped a pancake in a pan. Donatello trudged tiredly into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Once Donnie was in full view, he had the face that clearly showed: I-really-fudgin'-wish-I-was-still-sleep-right-now face on, which caused Mikey to smile as he adjusted his earphone to continue listening to his music.

"Mike, two things: why the shell are you being so loud?

And second: Its like, 9:00! Why the heck isn't anyone in the dojo? Honestly we'd be done with morning practice by now."

Donatello states as he enters the kitchen and plops down in his usual spot at the table.

"Yes, that is true my good man...turtle. Buuuuut, today is .day."

Mikey replies with his trade-marked smile spread across his olive green cheeks. Donnie glares at his baby brother with his brow ridged in the upward position on his forehead, but offers him a humorous grin.

"Hey by the way, Don. Have you seem Raph or Leo anywhere? I'm gonna eat their food if they don't come down here."

"Yea, Mikey. Even YOU don't have that much room in your stomach for that."

Donnie and Mikey both shot the heads to the direction of the entrance to the kitchen.

"Yo, Yo, Yo Leo! Waz happenin' mah brotha?"

Leo lets out a small laugh as he appears in full view of his two little brothers.

"Hmm, good morning to you too, Mikey! Hey Donnie, how are you?"

"Morning, Leo. I'm pretty good, for a restful night."

Leo looked at Donnie with both brows up and nodding in understanding. Mikey then walks over to the table with three platefuls of food.

"Koko ni anata ga iku, Ani."

Mikey speaks as he placed the food in front of Leo.

"Arigatō, otouto."

Mikey shared to Leo a gigantic smile before giving the same treatment to Donnie.

"Arigatō gozaimasu, otouto."

"Itadakimasu!"

All three brothers bowed their heads and said before their meal. A peaceful silence was spread between the three as they ate, but was quickly broken by Mikey's voice with the obvious disguise of a mouthful of food.

"So, Don. *gulp* where's Raph?"

Leo immediately brought his attention to his younger brother who was still looking down at his plate.

"Don? Where's Raphael?"

Donatello shot his head up to glare at his two questioning brothers.

"Uhh, my apologies you guys. Did you say something?"

At the same time, Mikey and Leo both raised an eye ridge at Donnie as Donnie kept his gaze on the other two turtles.

"Ahh yes, Raph. He was just sleeping in a little this morning. He said he had a little headache, so I just let him stay in bed until he was ready to come down."

Donnie explains as he sticks a forkful of pancakes in his mouth. Mikey and Leo stare at Donnie for a second, but soon shrug off his explanation and continued to rejoice in their meal and crack-up about other topics.

The pain Raph was enduring was absolutely unbearable. Its been about a month and a half ever since _any _pain like this had occurred and it appears that the pain just continues to get worse. Raph lay sprawled across the bed with his forearm a top his eyes. Sweat clung to his body as he tried his hardest to get his irregular breathing back to its normal pace. Raphael laid there for only a minute more before he jolted up in a sitting position. He knew he was sweating but, something was of about it. Raph gingerly ran his hand across his forehead, and what he saw nearly led him to unconsciousness. The small run of his hand across his forehead caused his, what was supposed to be sweat covered hand, to be drenched in the nauseating, awful sight of blood. Raph glared wide-eyed at his hand as the blood ran down his arm and onto the sheets. Raphael continued to stare in awe at his hand until something red fell into his eyes, blocking the actual colors of the room and a horribly, strong coppery smell filled his nostrils almost causing him to disgorge the contents of his stomach. Raphael immediately shot his attention upwards to look in the room, and what he saw then stopped his heart for a millisecond or two. The room he was in was enveloped in blood. It seemed like in every square inch of the room, there would be ocean smears of blood. Raphael was now glaring around the room in complete horror. He looked in every direction still not believing his sight. But the last gaze he got in was seeing his older brother laying on the blood enclosed floor; pale, motionless, dead. Raph hadn't even noticed the ocean of tears falling from his wide-eyes, for he was just too shocked to even care.

"No...this...this can' be real. This CAN' be Real!"

Raph swings his legs over the side of his bed and slowly gets to his feet, yet his attempt to stand failed him as he collapsed to the blood covered ground. He was in too much pain, his head felt as if something was stabbing into his brain. But the sight he was viewing, with his own eyes, was too much for him to handle. He had to tell someone, he had to tell Mikey, or Donnie. Out of sheer panic and will power, Raphael quickly pulled himself off the floor, ignoring the pain over the shock and quickly scooped up the dead imaginary Leonardo in his arms and bolted out the room.

"I...I have to 'elp Leo! This is all my faul'!"

Mikey, Donnie, and Leo were all sitting in the living room enjoying a day of no training, except for Leo. They all had their attention on their own things, but still managed to have a full fledged conversation.

"You know what, Donnie? I've been debating over this one topic with myself for over three days now and I want your opinion."

"Sure, Mike. Whats up?"

Donnie responds as he continues to type away on his laptop without bothering to look up from his computer screen. Leo was delighting himself in a fascinating book about other ninjutsu techniques, replacing the fact that he couldn't train or do ANYTHING in the dojo that day and listened in on his two youngest brothers conversation.

"I've been debating about wether a Lamborghini Reventon or a Mercedez Benz C class was better."

Donnie immediately stops his typing and looks up at his youngest brother in confused-amusement.

"Mikey, why the heck are you debating about something like that? Have you even seen any kind of cars like those?"

"Oh come on, bro! I'm sure EVERYONE has! I mean, all celebrities have some kinda car like that. Like the ones you see on the internet or hear in those rap songs!"

Donnie and Leo both were glaring at Mikey in confused-amusement and said no words, which cause Mikey to just smile and use that as a cue to keep talking.

"Here, bro's. Lemme give you a good example of what I mean. Example ichi:

Kanye West I'm SURE has AT LEAST a Mercedez. Example Ni: Nicki Minaj HAS a Lamborghini! There's proof in her "Stupid Hoe" music video!"

Donnie and Leo now had their full attention on Mikey and soon busted out in laughter at his logics.

"M~Mike! You'll listen to any music you can get your hands on won't you? Well, I suppose it makes sense, Mikey if you want it to. But to answer your question, I prefer a Mercedez.

Donnie states as he rubs the wetness from his eyes from the hard laughter and turns his glare back to his laptop screen. Leo nodded in agreement as he placed his eyes back on the 300 page book placed in his grasp. Mikey forms a gigantic smile as he throws his attention back to his Mario Kart Wii game. Yet, everyone's happiness was short lived as the sound of hard, rushed footsteps came breaking into the living room. All three brothers shot the heads up to look at the entrance to the living room and each one turned a different shade of green as they saw Raphael in a TOTAL panic. Raph's eyes appeared to be completely unfocused as he searched around the room. The three turtles studied their panicked brother and noticed the position he was in. His legs were spread apart as if he were trying to support the weight of something heavy and his arms were held up to the middle part of his stomach like he was holding something, or someone. Raph then jogged to the genius brother, with all eyes on him, and kneeled heavily in front of Donnie, tears flowing real heavy down his eyes and gasping so desperately for breath. Donnie was staring wide-eyed at his hot-headed brother, trying his hardest to survey and take in the situation, for it was all happening so fast.

"Donnie...Please...y-ya have to help L-Leo!"

Donnie's eyes could pop out of his head at this point, his eyes were open past their normal limit. He immediately shot his gaze up to his other two fearing brothers and noticed they all shared the same expression: worry. Donnie then kneeled down in front of Raph and put his hand on his thighs.

"Raphie, its ok. Just breathe. Calm down and breathe."

"No! Donnie! Y-ya don' un'erstan'! Look! Leo's...he's...he's...DEAD! I...I K-KILLED 'IM!"

Now it was Donnie's turn to have a hard time breathing. He looked down to Raph's empty, trembling hands and back to Leo and Mikey who were now gap-mouthed and terrified out of their minds, then back to Raph's hands. Donnie had to close his eyes and concentrate on his breathing for just a brief moment. Donatello then grasped the sides of Raph's lowered head and brought it up to stare into his golden, petrified eyes.

"Raph, listen to me. Leo's fine."

Donnie pointed at Leo which caused Raph to follow the direction of his finger. Leo was staring into Raph's golden orbs as he drops his hands from his middle and hang to his sides. Raph begins to gingerly get to his feet and start his journey to his older brother. Every part of Raph's body hurt, especially his head. Him running his fastest all the way downstairs to get to Donatello, only made the pain in his head increase dramatically. Raph refused to take his eyes off Leo as Once Raphael finally reached his supposedly dead brother, and didn't even hesitate to reach out and touch Leo. Leonardo gazed wide-eyed at his distraught little brother as Raph ran his hands on his face.

"Raph, how long has Leo been dead to you?"

Mikey asks as he began to reach out to Raph, but was soon stopped by Donnie's hand placed gently on his shoulder and shaking his head. An ear-popping silence was spread across the living room, yet was quickly broken by the agonizing sound of Raphael's broken, yet crazy sounding laughter.

"No~No, this a'int rea'. I...I killed you...'M...so..sorry, Leo."

Leo instantly wrapped his arms around his little brothers laughing form

"No, Raphie. I..I'm right hear. You haven't done anything wrong, Raph. i'm right hear."

What the shell was happening to his hot-tempered, little brother? First Raph though Leo would even DARE lay a finger on him with his swords on PURPOSE, to brutally injure him. And now Raph is thinking he killed Leo. The thoughts practically made Leo want to stab himself in his own gut. How could he have missed so much out of his now obviously ill little brother. Leo tightened his grip the more he thought about it.

"I'm right here, Raphael."

Raphael then began to laugh even harder after hearing Leo's voice.

"This...this a'int real. Your dead, its all my fault...Your dead!"

Raph was now backing up out of Leo's loosening grip and clutching his head as tears fell harder from his wide-open eyes and his laughter only came in harder.

*You've gone crazy*

The mocking voice of a child filled his head as he laughed harder and darkness began to engulf his vision. The last Raph heard where the horrifying sound of his brothers screams and pleads and the slow, melody of a childs mocking voice and echoing laughter before he fell unconscious.

*Yoou've goone crrraaazzzyyy*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

WHEW! What a mission!

Any-who, Hope you AMAZING people enjoyed zis chapter! And don'cha worry, there shall be more to come.

BTW! Which is better to you? A Lamborghini or Mercedez Benz!?

Oh and to be EXTREMELY honest witcha guys, i've never written a story in my life. I'm actually an artist and I can't write to save my life! :D but its whateva.

Read & Review people cause dis story's fer you. :)


	12. Psychotic

Tndsecretoperative: Awesome bro. I agree, yet Lambo's take up too much gas lolz. But, about the panic attack, i turned into somethin else, like a seizure. And the suicide attempt, I'm DEFIANTLY gonna take that idea in account,. Thanks ALOT fer that. ;)

Chapter 11: Psychotic

Raphael lie limp in Leonardo's arms as all his brothers remain shocked from the previous events. Donatello and Michelangelo coursed their way towards their unconscious, trembling older brother. The expression Raph was expressing only made the situation seem worse. His dilated eyes were hooded-open, and tears were clung to his pale-green cheeks. Suddenly, Raphael began to mumble incoherently to himself in his insensible state. But in a flash, Raphael jolted up from where he lie on Leo's lap and glare at nothing, which throw Leo, Donne, and Mikey on a journey of concern.

"Umm...R-Raph? Are you...?"

Mikey wasn't able to complete his sentence, as Raph threw his hands up to his neck and threw up all over his lap. Leo then grabbed Raph by his shell to hold him up straight up, of any risk of Raph throwing up again.

"Jesus, Raphael! Hold on, Raph! Hold on! Master Splinter! Mikey, go and get father, and FAST! And get a towel or something to wipe up this mess!"

Mikey then nodded to Leo and jumped to his feet and bolted for Master Splinter's room. Not only seconds later did Splinter come running out of his room and towards a trembling Raphael.

Splinter then kneeled down next to Raph as Mikey kneeled next to Donnie.

"Donatello, has happened to Raphael?"

Donnie then shot his attention to his master and looked backed down at Raph.

"Master, I don't know whats going on with Raph. Raph's been...he...I don't..."

Donatello's stuttering was soon put to a stop by the gentle feel of fur on his shoulder. Donnie slowly raised his head to look to his master and met him with a smiling gaze. Leonardo gingerly brought Raphael back down to his lap as Mikey wiped up the vomit from Raph's lap and plastron.

"Oh, Raphie. I'm so sorry."

Mikey says as tears flow down his cheeks and wipe-up the last bit of stomach content from Raph's mouth. Leo was now stroking a dozing Raph's head as tears of his own began to fall from his eyes.

"My G-d, Raph. What is happening to my dear little brother?"

Leonardo says as he nuzzles the top of Raphael's head.

"Hey, Leo? Can you take Raph upstairs to his room, please? I think he just needs to rest now. I'll be up their in a little while to check on him."

Donnie gently smiles as he kneeled down next to Raph and placed a hand on his thigh.

"Sure, Don. Let's go Mikey."

Leo says as he wipes his tears and elevated Raph up in his arms bridal style and begins to walk out of the room. Mikey follows behind wiping his tears rapidly and both disappear in the darkness of the hallway. Donnie still had his head lowered stuck in deep thought. A hand was placed on his shoulder which nearly caused him to jump out of his shell.

"Donatello, you have done many great deeds for your brothers. You must not put yourself down for not understand the current situation of Raphael."

Donnie sadly smiles up to his sensai, but his smile slowly forms into a lip quivering frown. Donnie let out a quiet whimper and threw himself into his father and allowed his long awaiting tears to flow.

"Oh, Sensai. I don't know what to do! I kills me to see Raph the way he is, especially when I can't figure out w-whats w-wrong with him."

Master Splinter was holding Donatello close to his chest and slowly strokes his sons shell.

"Shhhh...its alright my son. A solution will be found."

Donatello wipes the remaining tears from his eyes and gently nods. Master Splinter helps his son to his feet and wipes away a stray tear from Donnie's cheek with his thumb. Donnie then give his father a wet smile and calmly made his way towards the dimly lit hall.

Darkness was clouding every inch of Raphael's vision. Something about this darkness wasn't normal, it was too thick, extremely intimidating. The thickness of the air was making it almost impossible to breathe, and the incredibly strong feeling of something was going to attack him. There was noise in every direction of the darkness, especially screaming. Raphael kept looking around the endless abyss in a cold sweat. Then suddenly, all the sounds and screams stopped too sharply, causing Raph's ears to bleed. Raphael kept his guard up even more, but was still scared to death. Red eyes and sharp teeth with blood oozing out suddenly showed itself in the darkness and lunged itself at raph screaming bloody murder.

Raphael jolted up from bed so hard, he fell to the ground. Icy cold sweat clung loosely to his flaming skin as he tried to calm his laboured breathing. Hard breathing, that seemed to close was heard from the left side. Raphael hesitantly turned his head with wide-eyes and almost shouted out, but sighed in relief when he say the hard breathing was coming from his sleeping eldest brother. Raph shifted on the floor in a more comfortable sitting position. He pulled one of his legs up to his chest and let his other lie limp on the floor. There was no telling how long Raph ended up sitting there, he might of even dosed off with his eyes open. Raphael kept his gaze on the wall, staring into nothing, Raph then squinted his eyes at the wall for red eyes were beginning to appear there. He was terrified enough as it was, but when a gentle hand was placed on his shoulder, its a surprise he didn't have a heart attack. Raph gasped loudly at the sudden touch and threw his head to the left to meet his eldest brother dark-eyed gaze.

"Raphie, are you ok?"

Raphael stared at his brother for a moment before he managed to get his breathing back to normal, yet he was still incredibly strained. One thing FOR SURE was, Raph couldn't think straight. Raph was looking at Leo as if he's never seen him before.

"Raph whats...?

"Leo...yer...yer face, why 'r yer eyes so red? 'R ya angry wit me fer, killin ya?"

Raph propped himself up on his knees and cupped Leo's cheeks. Raphael then pressed his forehead to Leonardo's who was wide-eye struck in shock.

"Ohh, Leo. M' so sorry. I wen' too far." Raph was now stroking Leo's neck as he brought the other to the back of Leonardo's neck. Leo was shocked at Raphael's words to bring him closer. He slowly sat up and got down to the floor with Raph, being extra careful not to break contact.

"Leo, I killed ya. M' so sorry, I always knew I wasn' a goo' bro ta ya. I wanna make it up to ya, Leo."

Leo was having a hard time breathing. Why was Raphael taking this way? What does he mean 'he wants to make it up to me?' I'M NOT EVEN DEAD!

"Raphael, w-what do you mean...you want to..."

Leo swallowed hard before completing his sentence.

"Ma-make it up to me?"

Raphael formed a smile and expression that would make even Michelangelo jealous, which REALLY scared Leo at Leonardo at this point. Leo then grabbed Raph's shoulders and shook him a little.

"Raphael?! What are you talking about?!"

Raphael closed his eyes in a gentle manor and released a small chuckle to his eldest sibling. Raph slowly rose to his feet, with the 'dead' Leo's hand still grasped firmly, yet harmlessly in his own. Leonardo got to his feet along with Raphael, but was pulled into a cold embrace by his little brother. His skin was so much colder then it used to be.

Raph then pulled half-way out of the embrace and planted a kiss on Leo's beak.

"Leo, why do I continue ta see ya? Is it cause yer gonna haunt me fer what I've done?"

Leo noticed Raph suddenly had a severely irritated tone in his voice. Leonardo opened his mouth soon to protest, but was soon cut off by Raph shoving him his very HARDEST and fell hard on his shell. Leo threw his head up to glare a the red-banned turtle.

"R-Raphie...why?"

"Why, won' ya jus'...I..I killed ya, Dang it, Leo! Go Awa..."

Raphael coldly cut himself off as he intensely glared at his hand. The limb was tearing off from his arm, causing Raph to scream in agony as he stumbled backwards trying desperately to connect his hand back to his arm.

"AHHHH! OH MY G-D! MY...MY HAN'! NO! NO!

Leonardo was staring in absolute horror as his brother who was no looking as if he was deeply trying to swipe something from the floor as tears fell endlessly from his eyes.

"NOOO! MY HAN'!"

Raphael suddenly shot his head to look in the direction of a completely stunned Leonardo. But, what Leo saw in Raph's eyes made him want to bolt out of the door. Raphael's usual beautiful and golden orbs, where clouded with: pure rage, fear, confusion, and craziness. Raph started to stalk his way slowly towards Leo, his eyes wide with anger.

"YOU! YOU DID DIS TA ME!

Raphael's voice didn't even sound like his own anymore. It was scratchy, deep, and filled with pain and rage. Leo then pounced from his position on the floor and to his feet as he noticed Raph harshly pulling his Sai from his belt. Leo felt a horribly painful knot form in the clear middle of his stomach. Raph was then running top speed towards Leo, swinging his Sai without a trace of hesitation, just crystal hatred. Leonardo dodged many swings easily, but was caught off guard as Raphael threw a Sai directly towards his throat. It was like slow motion as Leo quickly jerked out his katanas and deflected the Sai at the last second. A loud metallic sound filled the room, for it was suddenly empty and silent of any fighting as Raph was on his knees with his remaining Sai at his side, clutching too tight to his skull and sobbing loudly. Leo didn't have the strength to move, for he was trying to recover from the fact that his own brother tried to plunge his throat to the wall. Donatello and Michelangelo came bursting into Leo's room, with their weapons drawn and their muscles visibly tensed. Both turtles both relaxed themselves as they saw there was no real danger, but tensed immediately once the took in the current scene. Raph looked up to the hard sound of the door cracking against the wall for how hard it was thrown open, which caused both Leo and Raph to flinch. Once Raphael saw wear his two younger siblings stand in the doorway, he yelled out in terror and automatically alarmed his three brothers. Behind Donnie and Mikey stand a tall man with a black face with white dotted eyes and razor sharp teeth

His pitch black skin bared the sharpest of claws and his arms looked to be 5 feet long. The figure quickly brought its sharp nails down and tried to slash down at Donnie and Mike.

"NO! NO DON'T! DON, MIKE, MOVE! BEHIND YOU!"

Donatello and Michelangelo both snapped around, weapons ready to attack anything that posed a threat, but nothing was there. Raphael then slowly got into a fetal position in the middle of the floor and cried.

"No, no, no, NO! This can' be hap..."

Raph's own body cut him off as he started to twitch violently. All three brothers sprinted to Raphael as his seizing got more intense.

"Oh no, Raphie!"

Mikey yelled as he carefully placed Raph's horribly trembling head in his lap. Donnie and Leo were clearly trying to keep themselves calm as to not make the situation worse. Raph suddenly let out a loud moan of...pleasure, as his bladder muscles lost all control and released all he had, which resulted in Raphael releasing a louder moan and touching himself, but was no later pulled back by Leo grasping his hand and holding it firmly in his own. The seizure then subsided after a total of 55 seconds. Leonardo instantly picked a limp Raph out of his own bodily fluids and headed towards the bathroom. Raph was still moaning a bit in Leo's arms as he tried touch himself again. Donnie then pulled Raph's hand away and signalled for Mikey to come and hold both of his hands. Once Mikey was close enough, he let out a small whimper as he got in a deep glance of his older brother. Raphael's eyes were rolled half-way up in his tilted head and his mouth was mildly open with tounge hanging out from the side. His amazing, hot-headed older brother, his hero was COMPLETELY out of reality. Once the brothers reached the bathroom, Raph rubbed his hand along Leo's cheek and babble incomplete words, yet Leo still managed to understand what Raphael wanted.

"Ok, Raph. Guys, Raphael wants only me to help him right now. But, you two need to go and tell Master Splinter about what happened, right away."

The youngest two nodded in understanding as they headed off to their father's chambers. Leo gently closed the door with his foot as he gingerly placed his panting and shivering little brothers on the counter and locked the door. Leonardo ran the hottest water into the tub and slowly placed Raphael inside. Leo looked up at Raph's face as he began to wash him, and noticed how out-minded and pale he looked. Raph was still babbling incoherent words to Leo, which caused small tears to trickle in his eyes. Most likely lost his words after a seizure that caused him pleasure. Raphael began to play with the tails of Leo's mask like a, child, but soon gasped and closed his eyes as Leo began to clean the lower area of his plastron to remove the remainings of Raph's body fluid. Raphael open his legs wider and moaned freely, and Leonard's tears poured from his eyes.

"No, Raphie. Don't do that."

Leonardo says quietly as he washed Raphael's legs and feet. After the torturess bathe, Leo picked up a now knocked-out Raphael up out the tub and began the drying process for his kid brother. His tears were dried at this point, and along with Raph, he was exhausted. Physically and emotionally. Leo then wrapped Raph's mask around his half-open eyes and started for the living room. After all the things that happen when they left him in Leo's room , there was no way, they were going to leave him alone again, Raphael needed someone.

"Kneel, my son."

Leonardo got down to his knees before his Sensai. Master Splinter stands up and begins to pace around his son in a questioning mannor. Leo didn't have to speak for Splinter to feel the sadness and concern radiating around Leonardo.

"Leonardo, Raphael has suffered through many obstacles during his years. Yet, I feel this is an issue that can't be resolved on its own."

"I understand, Sensai. But, Raphael...I can no longer believe that his mind is still with us."

A moment of silence coursed its way through the quarters. Splinter then kneeled directly in front of Leo and places his hand on his shoulder.

"Explain your say, my son. What has happened to Raphael?"

Leo kept his head down to glare at his hands, but still brought up the courage to talk.

"Sensai...Raphael has had many issues. He's had and still has physically weakening headaches, he's went through 2 seizures, one lasting almost FIVE MINUTES, sensai! The other seizure caused his...muscles to lose control and frighteningly cause him pleasure. Leonardo took several deep breaths and blinked back the incoming tears threatening to fall before he continued to speak.

"H-he...thought...one time, Raph thought his hand was..f-falling off..and"

Leo's tears were now falling hard from. Leonardo brought his hand up and covered his eyes to calm himself down. Splinter held a tight, comforting grip on Leo's shoulder, letting him know he was still there for him. Frustrated with his weakness, Leo placed his hand on top of fathers and continued to talk as clear as his could.

"He once brought himself to attack me before. R-Raph also thought...he..he killed me."

Splinters eyes enlarged at the last statement. He had never thought what Raphael was. Splinter was knocked out of his thoughts by the sound of Leo's voice.

"Donatello, has talked some about what has happened to Raphael while I wasn't able to be around. Raphael actually believed he witnessed his intestines ripped clear out of his stomach. He had a major panic attack and fell unconscious for nearly two days."

Splinter was now just shocked by what Leonardo was saying. He couldn't believe he had missed so much of Raphael. It left him practically speechless.

"I have meditated on Raphael's mind and...he is haunted and plagued by many dark memories and nightmares. Ones mostly that involve you, Leonardo."

Leo looked up to meet his fathers gaze with tears pouring from his eyes.

"M-me?"

Leo then lowered his gaze to the floor and slowly planted his head in his hands. Leonardo hesitated his last words in a cracked and choked voice.

"Master Splinter...I think my little brother...is going.."

Leo swallowed hard and loud and choked out a sob before letting out the last word.

"Insane."

Wow, this is a bit much. Oh well. Hope ya enjoyed this chapter my lovely people.

And remember:

Read & Review cause this stories fer you ;)

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	13. No Words

YOOOOO! DUDES! I AM SOOO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO DO DIS! I lost my phone for a while so i couldn't work on it. Won't happen again people! So sorry! XP XP

Donnie and Mikey stay seated next to Raph at all times. In his current condition, leaving him alone would lead to something AWFUL happening to him, according to witnesses and Raphael's 'experience. Both turtles were kneeling there shells against the couch were Raph lie unconscious as Donnie stroked Raphael's head.

"Hey, D-Don?"

Donnie turned his gaze to his youngest brother as Mikey twirled the ends of Raph's mask. Both brothers shared doleful expressions to one another.

"Yea, Mike?"

"W-whats happening to...to Raphie?"

Donnie and Mikey deeply stare into each others eyes before Donatello lets out a low sigh of defeat and shrugs his shoulders to his brother. Both sit in silence as they twiddle with Raph, before the intimidating sound of Master Splinters venting door and watch their distressed and strained eldest brother slowly and defeatedly trudge in their direction. Leo gave a depressed smile to his younger brothers as he enveloped both in a tight hug as he kissed both their temples. Donnie and Mikey both had tears streaming down their faces as the hug gotten tighter. Leonardo whisper 'I love you' to both his younger siblings and led them both to their rooms. Mikey was knocked out wide before he even hit the mattress. Leo smiled softly as he pulled the blanket over his baby brother and headed out of his room. Leonardo continues to travel down the hall towards Donatello's room, until he hears sobbing coming from his little brothers room and walks a bit faster to Donnie's door. Once Leo reaches the door, he swings it open calmly and approaches his weeping Donnie. Leo didn't need to ask what war wrong with Don as he immediately wraps his strong grass green arms around his sibling resulting in Donnie tackling Leo to the bed and digging his head in his chest. Leo tightens his grip around his bawling brother and whispers soothing words to his needs.

"Shhhh...shhh...Donnie, calm down, little brother. Its ok, I'm here. I'm here, Don't cry."

Donnie's cries begin to tone down at his eldest's reassuring words.

"Shhh...Don't cry. Hush, little brother. My little Donnie."

Donatello's cries instantly stop as he begins to doze off in Leonardo's grasp, listening to his soft breathing and his steady heart-beat. After about five minutes, Donatello was now in a deep slumber against his eldest brother's chest. As Leo kept his most protective grip on Don.

"I love you, Donatello. We WILL help Raph. I KNOW we will."

Leonardo knew that Raphael wouldn't be waking up for a while since he hasn't slept correctly for a pretty long time. The herbal tea that Master Splinter gave Raph would put him to sleep for a couple of days. That left Leo without any worries, but not knowing he should be majorly worried.

_Leonardo's eyes shot open by the sudden sound of something glass-like crashing to the floor in the distance. Leo instantly had a bad feeling form in the pit of his stomach a quietly pushed himself out of bed, being as careful as he could not to wake his sleeping little brother. Leo then cautiously crept down the stairs toward the kitchen. The thing that began to freak him out the most was the fact that it was pitch black downstairs, and since he had a fear of the pitch black at times, the terrifying whispers and the sound of objects falling weren't helping the situation much. Another crashing sound came out of the pure blackness and Leo yanked his Katanas out of their resting area and continued towards the noises, trembling with caution. The moment Leo got to the kitchen, the whispers were a bit more audible, but still not able to be made out completely. Sweat was clinging to his forehead as he entered the devil darkness of the kitchen. He then shot the light on, and got a painfully tight grip on his Katanas and flew into a fighting stance. There was nothing there. Leo then started to walk slowly around the intimidating kitchen, breathing heavily and keeping his up-most guard up. His senses were going all over the place. Leonardo couldn't help but think that something was extremely wrong the more he crept around the table. Leo then stopped dead in tracks as he heard louder whispers that sounded like...Raph?! He sheathed his Katanas and continued his agonizing journey around the table. Leonardo's eyes were in pain from the size he enlarged them to the sight of his brother. Raphael was sitting in the middle of the floor, his arms, legs, plastron, face and the frigid stone floor were all covered in his own blood. His legs had bloody, deep cuts all over them and his head was lowered to the floor and he was running his fingers along the cuts and licking the blood off of them, with a smile on his face. Leonardo began to feel painfully queasy _

_as he watched his little brother drink his own blood and smile about it. Leo then leaned over the table and threw up all over the floor. He placed his hand on the edge of the table to keep his balance and catch his breathe and immediately wiped his mouth. This had to be a dream. This had to be a freaking dream! Why the heck was Raphael doing this to himself?! Leo slowly raised his head to find Raph looking at him, completely crazed. Tears began to form and slip from Leo's eyes as he quickly got down to his knees and threw his arms around Raphael's bloody body and broke down._

_"Raph...!T-this isn't real! Tell me you didn't REALLY do this to yourself!"_

_Raphael slowly elevated his head to gaze intensly into Leonardo's hurt and feared eyes. Leo let out a wet gasp as he stared at his brothers face. Raphael's eyes were clouded with insanity and he had a happy, insane smile on face. _

_"I'm done."_

_Was all Raphael said._

"R-Raphie...no...mmmm...NOOO RAPH!"

"LEO! DUDE, WAKE UP!"

Leonardo jolted up hard in bed, tears still streaming down his cheeks as he tried to gasp for air with all his might.

"Leo, ahh man. You scared the livin' shell outta us, homie!"

Leo's eyes enlarged again as he swung his legs off the side of the bed and took a firm grip on Mikey's shoulders still breathing extremely hard and shaking like mad.

"M-Mikey! W-w-where's, Raphael?!"

"Woah, Leo! Calm down, bro. Raph's ok."

Leonardo started to calm down a bit, but still wasn't very much convinced. He had to see if Raphael was really ok! What he had seen of his hot-headed brother nearly gave him a heart-attack.

"Mikey, where's he?! I have to see if he's alright!"

Leo showed nothing but pure worry in his voice.

"Oh, ok man. Raph's on the cou..."

Mikey was interrupted by Leo swiftly passed him and threw himself out the room as he yelled his 'thank you's' to his youngest.

"Couch."

Leonardo must of been doing warp 10 for how rapidly he reached Raphael. Leo stooped down eye level before an out-cold Raph. Raphael's final words were still buzzing around in Leonardo's head like a storming swarm of wasps. "I'm done." What could Raph had meant by that? Did he DIE? or was his sanity...? Leo shook his head to get such a threatening thought out of his mind. Leonardo was interrupted by the sound of a pained groan. Leo shot his head to Raphael's direction and found him with a severely agonised expression on his face. Without warning, Raph lunged into a sitting position panting punishingly. He still had his eyes closed and his expression showed he was in IMMENSE pain. Raphael's body began tremble and quiver, like he was frigid. Leo was staring at his brothers shivering form, completely strained and oblivious on what the problem may have been.

"R-raph? Are..."

"Get...it outta... *GASP*...me."

The pain building up in Raphael's stomach was like the rainbow. Laying down already caused pain too ridiculous to stand, and sitting up so suddenly almost knocked him back into unconsciousness. Leonardo was sitting next to him as Raph was sitting there totally overwhelmed by...this strange pain suddenly boiling in his gut. Leo was watching him, reckoning the situation couldn't get much worse, was awfully proved wrong as Raph began to scream in pain and agony and clutched his stomach firmly. Raphael had sweat dripping like a waterfall from his brows. He slowly lowers his head down to his stomach, his eyes enlarge and he lets out a terrified gasp. His stomach was GROWING! And at an incredibly fast rate. Leonardo followed Raphael's gaze to Raph's stomach and flared off to confusion. Why's Raph looking at his stomach like that? Is he ok? Leo was blew out of his thoughts by a sudden tight grip on his wrist. Leo shot his head up to Raph and intensifies his gaze.

"Raphael, are you alright?! What's wrong?!"

Leonardo loudly whispers, concern completely

"Please...it...it hurts! Get it...outta me!"

Raphael suddenly shouted out in pain as he bent and spread his legs. The pain Raph was feeling was not improving, but becoming overwhelming.

"Ahhhh! Uggghhh! It..hurts! Please, get it out!"

Raphael had his gaze now directed towards his lower plastron. There was something crowing out of his entrance and getting overly painful. Leonardo grabbed at Raphs hand as he began to push for some reason. Leo was now terrified as he saw blood begin to fall from Raph's mouth.

"Okay, this can't go on anymore!"

Leo knew that he couldn't wake Donatello, he's been through enough these last couple days. Mikey...No way! MASTER SPLINTER! Leonardo thought as he gripped Raph's hand harder. Leo began his shout for his sensai, but was muffled out by Raphael shouting his loudest in pain.

"AHHHHHHH! NO! NO...IT CAN'T...COME...AHHHH! IT HURTS! IT HURTS!"

"Oh no, Master Splinter! Sensai! Help!"

Master Splinter came only moments later from Leo's cries and Raphael's shouts.

"What is the matter, Leonar..."

Splinter was instantly interrupted by another loud scream from Raph.

"AHHHHH! IT HURTS!"

Leonardo shot himself on top of Raph's suffering form and flew his hands up to cup and stroke Raphael's cheeks.

"Shhhh...Raphie. Its ok...shhhh. Calm down."

Master Splinter speed walked over to his two sons and placed a hand on Raph's forehead and used his robe to wipe the blood off the corner of Raphael's mouth.

"Raphael is developing a fever. An herbal tea that I know shall calm him down."

Splinter calmly got up and walked towards the kitchen. Leo didn't dare take his gaze off of Raph the whole time Splinter was near them, but he did listen to what his sensai told him. Raph was sitting upright with his legs still bent and spread. He was breathing slow, but hard and his face showed off a pale-green as sweat fell mercilessly down his body. Leonardo was still stroking Raph's face as he examined his brother and the position he was in. Leo also noticed that his brother wasn't pushing anymore, like something was inside of him and he was desperately trying to remove something that was making him see the rainbow of pain.

"Raph, why are you sitting like that?"

Master Splinter came back not only seconds after Leo spoke, with the herbal tea. Raphael and Leonardo both lifted their heads at the same time to glare at their Master who had a small cup clasped in his hand. Splinter begins to approach his sons until Raph narrows his eyes dangerously and growls loudly at Splinter and grips Leo's arm. Leo and Splinter stare completely stunned and wide-eye at Raph. Master Splinter slowly lowers his ears in alert as he gingerly walks further towards Raphael and Leonardo. Raph instantly hops up from the couch and violently yanks out his Twin Sai, hard and quick enough to cause a slight burn on the sides of his stomach and pulls Leo up as he backs away from the approaching Splinter. Splinter stops dead in his path when Raphael pulls out his weapons.

"Would you really attack me, my son?"

"Dont. Ya. Freakin' Da'e come nea' me or 'im."

Raphael looked absolutely pissed at Splinter. His voice was deep with insanity and rage, completely enveloping and blocking out his original, well-known Brooklyn accent. Anger, even beyond his knowing, began to boil in every blood flow known in the body. Leo was speechless as he glared into the eyes of his IRATE little brother. Raph was REALLY going to full-on attack their Sensai. And why wad he gonna do it?! At that very moment, Raphael lunged at his Sensai, his Sai aimed directly towards his throat and all too ready to stab and kill. Just as the sharp end was only inches away from Splinter's throat, Raphael was firmly pulled back by his eldest brother. Raph turned towards Leonardo, his insane rage gaze slowly disappearing at Leo's expression. A huge amount of Pain...fear...worry...concern all bodied up in just one set of eyes.

"Raphael! Don't! Thats your Sensai! Your father!"

Raph's eyes returned to their normal size and colour, for Leo noticed the almost completely red glow in his usually golden orbs and how his pupils turn back to a normal size from the raging dilation. Raphael slowly turns his head back to his Master and notices how close he was to almost brutally murdering his own father. Raphael instantly releases both his weapons and let them clatter to the cold stone floor. Raph then hastily backs away from Splinter and releases his protective grip on Leo's arm and backs the furthest he could go into a corner. Leonardo and Splinter watch Raph dumbfounded as he brings his knees up tightly to his plastron and firmly wraps his arms around his knees, rocking back and forth.

_"Look what you've done. You almost killed your own Sensei."_

Raphael shot his head to his side to notice a figure that looked exactly like him was kneeling down next to him, rubbing his hand up and down Raph's plastron. His eyes were the same blood shot red colour that he'd known he had seem before and held the same deep Brooklyn accent. Raph was breathing as if he had been enslaved, labouring non stop and sweating waterfalls. Tears were collecting in his eyes as everything else was completely blocked out and got his full attention on the figure speaking to him.

_"Oh, Raphie. How could you do such a thing to your own...our father" _ The figure actually sounded...hurt and betrayed, which resulted in Raph staring wide-eyed and tears rushing down his face desperately stuttering, trying to answer.

"I...I-it waz an...a-acciden'! I don'...I.. can'..."

Raphael was suddenly cut off by a finger gently pulled to his lips.

_"Shhhh...it's ok, Raphie. There is a way you can fix this."_

The figure soothed as it cupped Raph's cheeks comfortingly. Raphael leaned into the figures hand that held mysterious warmth and let more tears slip from his eyes.

"How? Wha'..wha' c'n I do?"

Raph hurriedly asked, really hoping he could do something to fix what he had done.

Leonardo and Master Splinter where staring at Raph with the expressions of confusion, and worry. 'How what? Who the shell is he speaking to? Is he talking to_ himself_? He won't stop glaring at the wall?!' Leo rapidly thought as he kept his gaze on his brother, and taking a one step forward leaving his father a few inches behind.

The figure grinned and stood to walk, talking his hand away from Raph's face and knelt slowly in front of him and eventually sitting all of the way down. Raph followed the figures movements as if he were some amazing wonder. The figure then gripped onto Raphael's hand and guided them towards his Twin Sai. Raph lowered his head to his and the figures hand and back to its Blood eyes. It was glaring intensely into his golden pools as he brought his other hand up to stroke Raph's face again. Leaning back into its warmth, Raphael spoke back.

"I...I don' un'erstan'."

_"Raphie, hurt yourself. Take your weapons and stab it into your beautiful dark skin. You WANT to feel the damage you caused to our father. Drink the blood. Worship it."_

The figure then leaned in closer to the side of Raph's face and spoke into his neck, its cold breath blowing against him, causing Raphael to visibly shiver.

_"And if you do hurt yourself, Raphie..." _

It then brought its lips to Raph's neck and repeatedly kissed it.

_"You'll get a reward."_

With that the figure pulled back and brought its lips to Raphael's and embraced him with a deep, loving kiss. To Raph, the kiss felt...right. As if he was connected to the figure in a way. Raph then wrapped his arms around the figures and returned the kiss just as lovingly. Just as the kiss was about to intensify, Raphael felt nothing but air blow across his lips. He let out a small whimper to the sudden empty feeling.

"No, no where are ya?"

Raph kept searching around for the figure, but it was gone. He then felt strong hands grasp onto his shoulders which made Raphael tense up a bit. Raph pulled his golden diamond eyes up to meet Leo's dark almost black shining eyes and smiled. Leonardo was followed by their Master as he knelt down next to Raphael as well.

"Raph! Are you ok? Why were you...talking like tha..."

"I have to do it."

Master Splinter and Leo both share even more frightened expressions shown on their faces.

"D-do what, Raphael?"

Raph directed his eyes to Splinter and smiled wider as tears kept falling from his diamonds.

"Fer you. I'm gonna hurt myself fer ya, Father."

Shock was written all over his fathers and Leonardo's faces at Raph's threatening words. Splinter immediately wrapped his arms around Raphael firmly, not daring to let go. Leo moved over a bit to let that happen.

"No! No, my son! You mustn't! You are ill! You must let us help you!"

Raphael was still had his attention directly in front of him with a large smile spread on his face, like a dolls. He then turned his head towards his eldest and pulled out his Sai. Leo's heart skipped almost five beats when he heard his little brother hauntedly speak:

"I'm done."

Before Leonardo or Splinter could process what Raph has just said,

Raphael stabbed his sai deep into his arm and began to burst into a fit of laughter.

Hope ya guys enjoyed this chapter! And I'm still soooo sorry fer takin so long wit it. :( BUt anyway hope ya enjoyed and:

Read and Review cuz this stories fer you ;)


	14. Authours note

**Alright, listen mah people.**

**As much as I love you all, I just can't continue this anymore. But, I am willing to put it up for adoption cause; I don't completely wanna get rid of it. So if ya want to adopt this story, PM and we'll talk **

**and I would SO love to see watcha have in mind for this story ;) **

**~ Supermariolover56**

**P.S: I'm having a pretty bad drawers block and I was wonderin if you awesome people would give me an Idea of wat to draw. Check out my deviantart page: Supermario56 ;) **


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